


Fallen

by dayswithyou



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, High School, Romance, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-04-23 11:10:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19149835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayswithyou/pseuds/dayswithyou
Summary: This wasn't supposed to be real.He was not supposed to want you.You were not supposed to fall in love with him.He said that he was going to be there to catch you should you fall.But where is he?Now that you have fallen.





	1. Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> Hello My Days!  
> dayswithyou here to present my third fic for the fandom: Fallen! This time featuring our reliable bassist Young K! :)  
> Any feedback or comments will be very much appreciated, they really do help me to grow as a writer.  
> Thoughts in italics, flashbacks in bold.  
> Without further ado, I present Chapter 1 of Fallen: Hunt  
> Warning: OC curses and swears alot here.  
> Note: This is a OC fic but I will be using the you / your pronouns as I am more comfortable writing from that perspective. I hope this does not confuse anyone!

“Rachel, wait, one more.”

“One more what? Jaebum, I got go – ”

Tugging you back by your wrists, Jaebum spins you around until you were facing him before latching his lips onto yours. You were still shy with public displays of affection so you kept it brief but nonetheless, a soft smile was etched on your face when you pulled back.

“Sorry Rachel, I promise that it’s the last one. I’ll let you go back to class now.”

“See you later.”

“See you.”

With a final squeeze of my hands, Jaebum lets you go and you head back to class, unable to hide the smile that spreads when you remember the kiss that just happened seconds ago. You spot Esther sitting at her spot at the back of the classroom and you waved at her, glad to see her again after the weekend. But this time, she doesn’t greet you with a smile like she always does. Her eyes are dark, her expression sombre. Even from this distance, you can see a thunderstorm is brewing within her. Her grip on her phone visibly tightens, the small charm shaking from the force.

_Something was wrong, but what is it?_

When she sees you, she bolts from her seat before pulling you out of the classroom.

“Esther, what’s wrong?”

She says nothing in response and proceeds to shove her phone in your face. The thumbnail is grainy, but you could make out the figure of Jaebum…but there was…another girl with him? Curiosity gnawed away at your mind. You  _had_  to find out. Pressing the play button, your chest tightens, the fear making you shiver.

The footage started off shaky; clearly the person filming wasn’t in a very clear state of mind. The whole place was dark and a few black figures flashed past the screen before focusing on Jaebum.

This was when you got a good view of the girl standing in front of Jaebum – it was Ayeon. It was just a video, but you could feel the air around them shift through the screen.

_It can’t be..._

Yet the next few seconds confirmed your worst suspicions. Jaebum had his hands on Ayeon’s hips and her hands were latched tightly around the back of his neck. They were staring intently into one another’s eyes before Jaebum leans up to crash his lips into hers, his teasing hands roaming as his lips explored her mouth intently. The last frame that was captured was of Jaebum slipping his hand under her skirt and him attaching his lips to her neck instead. The video may have ended, but you didn’t need to watch on to know what happened afterwards.

You calmly hand her phone back to her, your body language saying that you’re cool and collected. But your eyes speak of a raging fire within you, one that billows bigger and fiercer with each passing second.

She sees it, and she’s already latching onto your arm before you can make a move.

With a warning tone, she stared at you dead in the eye before saying, “Rachel, what are you planning to do?”

“Well, I’m planning to leave to find Im Jaebum. I’ve got a score to settle with him.”

“Rachel-”

You pry her fingers of your arm, flinging her hand away from you a little too harshly.

“Please don’t stop me.”

You turn and march towards the school canteen, your fist clenched till your knuckles turn white. You force your way through the crowd of people, not stopping to apologise even when you bumped into someone. You only had one goal in mind, and  _nothing_  was going to stop you from reaching it. Esther trails behind you, apologizing to people on your behalf. She walks fast, but even then she couldn’t keep up with your long and purposeful strides.

Pushing the doors of the canteen open, your eyes zero in on your target.

Im Jaebum seated right at the corner.

He’s smiling and laughing widely, completely oblivious as to what’s going to hit him. Good for you then, you’ll have the element of surprise. He doesn’t even have time to register your presence, before his head is swung to the side by something, a loud crack accompanying the movement. You see the bruise forming on his cheek, feel the sting on your palms before you realise what you had done. Anger had blinded you and made you lose your rationality. You had just slapped Im Jaebum in front of a good majority of the school population.

And you shouldn’t expect to live after your brash actions.

Im Jaebum cocks his head, slowly turning to face you to add to the suspense. He was going to make you pay for what you had done.

“What was that for huh?”

There were a million things that you wanted to say to him, all of which would have sounded confident and better. Instead, what leaves your lips is a pathetic and weak question.

“Why? You and Ayeon...why?”

Jaebum massaged his jaw as he turns to look at you with a sinister glint in his eyes. Fear lodges itself in your heart; Jaebum has never looked at you that way before. He’s changed, or maybe he just wasn’t who you thought he was all this while.

“Ah, no need to hide anymore now that you know the truth. I was wondering when you would find out so I could end the relationship, I was getting so repulsed at the idea of playing lovers with you.”

“Im Jaebum you fucking piece of shit.”

This time round, Esther is the one that lands a punch square on his jaw, the impact making him fall out of his seat.

Hearing his words, you were too dumbfounded to say anything back to him – but you wish you did. You wished you had come out with some intelligent retort and had never given him the satisfaction of running his mouth.

Instead, like a deer caught in the headlights, you merely stared at Jaebum – and he took your silence as the cue to carry on.

“Do you know why I dated you?”

An eerie silence falls across the entire canteen, and you know that you have the attention of the entire school population now. Jaebum smirks a little at the attention that he is getting; he always loved it. Like a master actor, Jaebum puts on the most spectacular show for his audiences.

“ _It was a dare, a game._  The challenge to get the coldest girl in the whole school. I told them it would be easy. And my gosh...how easy it was. All I had to do was send you some sweet texts, shower you with gifts occasionally and voila - you were wrapped around my fingers. It was fun while it lasted. Thank you for being my pawn darling, you were so good at it. You were so good at everything…”

When he paused, you finally thought the assault was over. But of course – no opponent leaves the court without striking the death blow to his enemy – the most horrendous lie of them all.

“But you were exceptionally good in bed.”

When the howls erupted around you, and the actor finally stepped off stage, you were at the mercy of his audience. In that moment, you felt like a small rabbit out in the open, ripped apart by the hungry wolves around you.

Yet, one thought ran clear through your mind:  _I want him to pay. I want him to burn for what he has done._


	2. Blood

_ Perfect. It has to be perfect.  _

That was Brian’s motto when it came to his relationship with Ayeon. He wanted it to be perfect, he wanted to give her only the best. 

Brian has the table set 30 minutes in advance, and now with just 2 minutes left on the clock before her arrival, he adjusts the arrangement of roses in the glass vase once more, making sure that they are all standing upright and tall. His focus is broken when the doors to his apartment open and slam shut, and he jumps in excitement at the mere sight of her shadow, hurrying over to greet her as he places a quick peck to her lips. He finds it odd when she doesn’t kiss back, but he shifts his thoughts elsewhere, choosing not to dwell on something that might otherwise sour the good mood he was trying to set up. 

“Hey sweetheart. What took you so long?”

“Hmm traffic jam.” 

She doesn’t acknowledge him nor explain why she didn’t even send him a text to tell him she'll be late. Instead, she sauntered over to the dining table, not bothering to hide her displeasure at the sight in front of her. 

_ A candlelit dinner with roses - the usual again. This man can’t be creative at all.   _

She rolls her eyes; thankfully Brian is trailing behind her so he doesn’t see it. 

Being the gentleman he is, he pulls out a chair for her, placing a kiss to her soft hair when she’s finally seated. 

“Happy second anniversary Ayeon.”

She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. 

The sound of cutlery clinking against one another and soft chewing fills the room, but other than that, neither of them makes a sound. The silence used to be comfortable, but now it feels heavy and awkward. Exchanging glances and sweet smiles from across the table was commonplace, yet that was a thing of the past. Brian keeps glancing between Ayeon and his food, trying to find the perfect opportunity to strike a conversation. Yet no such chance presents itself to him; her focus is entirely on her phone screen, her food barely touched and turning cold.

"Ayeon, how's the steak?”

“Oh, it’s ok.”

Now, it was even clearer that Ayeon’s focus is not on their anniversary. She hasn’t even touched the steak, the perfect coat of sauce still glistening on the meat. Brian is annoyed now, and he will address the huge elephant that is sitting right in the centre of the room. 

“Ayeon, I’m sure that anything on your phone can wait till later. It’s our anniversary dinner and I just want to be with you. But right now, it just feels like you’re not even here. What’s wrong?”

The reversal in Ayeon shocks Brian so much that he’s at a complete loss for words, a helpless victim to her ensuing torrent. 

She lifts her eyes from her phone screen, her sharp glare slicing Brian’s bravery to shreds. Throwing her phone across the table, the slam of the hard case against the table top making the whole table shake from the impact. 

“What’s wrong? You’re the problem here Brian. It’s the same thing all the time, I am sick and tired of this.” 

Picking up the bunch of roses from the vase, she tosses them onto the floor with a flick of her wrist, not caring where they land. 

“Roses? Disgusting.”

She flicks the remaining water on her hand in his direction, the wet droplets landing on his face breaking him out of his trance. She stands to leave, but he’s latching onto her hand before she can go, wondering why what they had was now all gone. 

“Ayeon, why are you being like this? What has changed?”

She opens her mouth, ready to snap another retort at him but the answer presents itself to him instead. 

On cue, JB’s name lights up on the screen, the photo of them kissing in the caller ID making the nature of their relationship absolutely unmistakable. 

“So that’s what has changed. There is a third person in our relationship.”

This time round, it is Brian’s turn to fix her with a hard glare as her pupils widen  in fear. Yet she regains her composure the next moment, sending the final stake through his heart with her words. 

“So what if there’s a third person in our relationship?”

She then pauses to run a hand through her hair, letting out a scoff. 

“Oh why do I even bother with you? Our relationship doesn’t even exist anymore. I’m done playing this stupid little game with you, acting like I love you when I don’t. You were never, and will never be enough. You are nothing compared to him. ”

She flings his arm away, the knife slicing through the palm of his hand before clattering against the floor, the sticky beads of blood dripping against the floor. The cut stings, but it is nothing compared to the piercing pain of his heart being ripped open. 

Turning to leave, she spots the roses on the floor, making it a point to trample on them on her way out, like how she’s trampled on his heart. She leaves the pieces of his heart scattered all over the floor, each of them broken and damaged beyond repair. 

Yet all of them are screaming the same message:  _ I want to see her bleed. I want to see her blood spilled like what she’s done to mine.  _


	3. Eyes on you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of aquaphobia (fear of water)

 

_ It’s been a month and a half since the incident happened so people would have forgotten about it. We’re all mature young adults so no one is going to make a big deal out of this. I can go about my daily life in school without having to worry about what others think of me. Or The Incident.  _

But that’s just what you think. And reality is often disappointing. 

That bad breakup made you a scarlet letter in school. Whenever someone saw you, their eyes would lower, not-so-subtle fingers began to point in your direction and hushed whispers would fill the hallways. From now on, your name could no longer be dissociated from Im Jaebum’s.

_ Girl dumped by Im Jaebum.  _

_ Crazy ex that went on an assault rampage. _

_ Loose play thing for Im Jaebum. _

These were just the tip of the iceberg, and you know that more hurtful lies are probably spreading around like wildfire amongst the school population. Yet you also knows that now, more than ever, you need to keep your head high and show them that you will not back down. You will  _ not _ lose a fight to Im Jaebum. You have too much pride and dignity to bow down to him. 

With that thought in mind, you square your shoulders and look straight ahead at the crowd. They can run their mouths all they want, but you are never giving them the satisfaction of seeing you tremble under their gaze. Your stern expression softens when Esther hooks an arm around your neck, a soft smile lifting the corners of your lips. 

“Pay them no attention Rachel, you’re above that. Let’s go set up the class booth and have fun later.”

You nod your head at Esther’s statement, determined to not let anyone ruin your good mood today.

\---

The annual school carnival is on at full swing right from the very beginning, music blasting from the school’s sound system and students trying to compete with the blaring music by screaming at the top of their voices to aggressively promote their class store. An ensemble of two to three other classmates typically follow behind as walking advertisements with huge boards hanging down the front and back of their bodies. Some “competitors” even go so far as to advertise right in front of your class store, and Esther has to good-naturedly shoo them away before they steal all of your business. With all the mess that you’re associated with now, you opted to help out behind the scenes. It would be better if you didn’t show your face to more people, it would give people less opportunities to talk about you. What’s out of sight is often out of mind. Even so, people still sought you out for the sake of targeting you. From your seat behind the counter preparing ice cream sodas, you get the occasional side-eye and unsolicited comments on your relationship with Jaebum but you swallow the discomfort. You have better control of your emotions now, and you knew it would not be wise to pick a fight. Esther does her best to shield you from prying eyes, and her encouraging smile keeps you going for the rest of your shift together. 

“Alright you two, shifts over. Go have some fun!” 

Both of you turn at the same time to look in the direction of the familiar booming voice, your homeroom teacher and school discipline master Mr Kim soon coming into view as he strides over with big, purposeful steps. He chases you and Esther out of the class booth as the two of you pass the work for the incoming two classmates to take over, your joints popping in places all over their bodies as contented sighs leave your lips. Esther breaks out into a whole stretching routine behind the class booth to loosen her stiff joints, using the tentage as support. You simply stand by the side, content with laughing as you watch your goofy friend. 

“Let’s get food, I’m hungry!”

Esther hooks her arm around yours, attempting to drag you away to the food stalls at the back of the field but you wouldn’t budge from your spot, your eyes fixated on the structure right in your line of vision: a makeshift pool. It was being filled with water, the water level rapidly rising higher. You feel your breath catch in your throat, the airway becoming constricted with each passing second. Flashes of images begin to fill your mind, and your grip on Esther’s arm tightens to steady yourself.

**Flailing arms…**

**Lungs being filled with water...screaming but you can’t hear a sound...**

**Grasping for something you can’t reach...a mop of hair before it gets dragged underwater... your vision fading to black.**

Your legs almost gave way under you but the sudden assault of your memories are broken by the sound of someone yelling right beside you, your ears ringing from the sudden loud noise. 

"WHO DO YOU WANT TO SEE GET DUNKED? COME FORWARD TO PUT THEIR NAMES! BUT DON'T FORGET TO GET THEIR PERMISSION FIRST AND RAISE ENOUGH MONEY TO SEE THEM GET DUNKED!" 

Jackson pushes through the huge crowd, armed with nothing but his loudspeaker and his booming voice. A steady line forms behind him, all of them clamouring to put down names and raise enough money to see teachers and peers get dunked. How the game works is as such: simply get the person's permission to get dunked, then raise the necessary amount to see the person get dunked. It was always the most popular booth during the annual school carnival; others saw it as a form of entertainment but you saw it as a form of humiliation. And you have every intention to steer clear of that booth. 

“Rachel, you ok? Your face is really pale now.”

“Huh? Oh yea, I’m fine Esther. The blood rushing to my head just made my vision swarm just now, happens all the time. Sorry for scaring you.”

“Can you walk now?”

“Yes I can. What do you want to eat? Kebabs?”

“Aigoo you know me so well! Let’s go!”

You follow closely behind Esther as she takes off towards the food stalls. You were just glad to be far, far, far away from the water. 

\---

You promptly forgot about the dunking booth and water, simply enjoying your time eating and winning prizes from the games you played. But soon, it was time for your second shift and you had to leave all the fun behind to get back to the grind again. 

_ We have to pass the dunking booth again on our way back. Don’t look Rachel, remember to not look. _

You and Esther approach the dunking booth with minutes and you can see Im Jaebum standing at the top of the podium, reading off names of those about to be dunked. The closer you got to the booth, the faster you walked. Two of the things you hate the most in the world are at the dunking booth: Water and Im Jaebum and so, you have every intention to pass the booth as fast as possible. 

But fate has a sick sense of humour and you were the victim of its’ joke once again. 

“Oh! We have a surprise addition to the list: Rachel from Class 1! Rachel, where is she? Could you kindly come up to the podium now?”

Jaebum’s words sound sweet and polite, but you can hear the mockery in his voice and see the smirk on his face. You wanted to walk up and punch that smirk off his face, maybe knock a few teeth out so he can never smile again but you were powerless in your situation. Physically assaulting him again would only give people more reason to talk about you when all you wanted was for people to forget. All eyes were on you now as the crowd of people parted like the red sea, making a clear, unobstructed line for you to pass through to reach the podium. 

Except that this wasn’t the path to salvation, but the path to imminent death instead. 

You wanted to bolt from the scene, but you knew the silent insinuation behind that move. 

_ It would mean that you’re afraid of Im Jaebum.  _

_ It would mean that you’re bowing down to Im Jaebum.  _

Im Jaebum had already crushed your dignity with his hideous lies, and you had no intention to let him trample over your self-esteem now. He had nearly reduced you to nothing in the eyes of the school, and you will not give the whole lot of them the satisfaction of seeing you crumbles to ashes. 

_ Fine Im Jaebum. Two can play this game. You will not see me crumble. Never.  _

With all eyes on you, you march to the front with your head held high. Yet each step felt like an eternity. 

You were deathly afraid of the water, and you were not sure if you would be able to survive this challenge you had so foolishly decided to take up. 


	4. Going under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Picture Young K from the “When You Love Someone” era
> 
> Author’s note: I’m sorry this update took so long, but I’ll strive for more frequent updates from now on!
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of drowning, cursing

 

Each step felt like a dreaded eternity. 

The fear of your imminent fate made your heart thunder wildly in your chest, the sudden surge of activity in your body rapidly depleting your energy. Your hands start to feel clammy with cold sweat, your throat was turning dry and the rapid beating of your heart in your ears was much too loud for your liking. Well aware that everyone was staring at you as you make your way up to the podium, the heat began to rush to your face, making your face and ears burn from the attention. Your physical discomfort only made the entire situation worse, and you unconsciously scraped the tip of your forefinger with your nail till the skin was red and bleeding. Instinct made you want to scratch and claw at your neck but you firmly clench your fists by your side, doing your best to not flinch under their gaze. 

_ I can’t show signs of weakness now. Not in front of the whole school, and especially not in front of Im Jaebum. I will not give him that power or sick satisfaction.   _

You were full of spite, and spite was what made you climb to reach the podium to stand on top of the dunking machine. Yet, despite your earlier bravery, all of that dissolved in the face of your worst enemy and most hellish nightmare. Any step closer and you’d be able to see the deadly water from your line of sight, and your fear of the water far outweighed the fear of being scorned by the school population, or the anger of letting Im Jaebum have the last laugh at your sorry state. You can hear the sniggers and insulting remarks from the audience, and from the corner of your eye, you can see Im Jaebum smirk at your pathetic form, taking his time to enjoy the way he gets to humiliate you again in public. Anger overtakes your senses in a moment of folly and you take a step further up onto the podium. 

That’s when you get a first glimpse of the swirling water, and the memories come crashing back like a tsunami wave slamming into you at full force. The force nearly knocks you off your feet, and it leaves you gasping for breath. 

\---

**“Rachel, come to Mummy!”**

**The water felt warm against your skin, the salty taste of the water making you gag and cough for a short while. Blinking rapidly as seawater splashed into your eye, you rubbed your eyes as you tried to focus on the blurry figure of your mother floating at a distance, just her head and arms visible above the surface of the water as she beckoned you towards her. To her right, your father was also mimicking her actions; a competition to see which parent you would pick. You swam with all your might, kicking your legs with power and pushing back the water with your cupped palms to reach your parents.**

**But why weren’t you getting closer to them?**

**Cold rain started pelting down on your small body, their rapid hits on you feeling more like punches than rain. The waves started to push you back, but soon they grew in size and force, becoming ferocious waves that kept crashing onto your tiny frame. You were getting terrified now, and began screaming for your parents.**

**“MUMMY!!! DADDY!!!”**

**Tears began to mix with water, staining your face in sticky streaks. Despite your efforts to desperately keep your head above the water like how your father told you to just now, the waves kept mercilessly throwing you underwater, only letting you up for a short respite. Even then, you could no longer breathe or scream for your parents. All you could do was swallow mouthfuls of seawater, the violent coughing and choking afterwards making you wear out your energy faster. You reached your hand out towards Mum and Dad, hoping to feel their warm hands engulf yours like they always did, hoping to feel their warmth as they held you close and whispered into your ear that everything was going to be alright. Yet, all you could feel was the water slipping through your fingers.**

**_Mum...Dad...please save me…_ **

**Just before your eyes fluttered shut, you took one last look at the empty surface of the water...**

**Then darkness took you under.**

\---

Trembling, you opened your eyes; only to be met by Im Jaebum’s sideways glance, the look of contempt and disregard clearly written in his gaze, the familiar shadow of a smirk passing on his face before he schools it back to neutral to face the crowd. 

“Ah… it seems like Rachel is having a hard time getting into the chair? Perhaps you’re getting the jitters there Rachel? We’ll be a good host and give her the option to decline, alright? We’re opening the option for someone to take her place. Any takers?”

He turns to face you fully now, sending a sickeningly sweet smile in your direction. 

_ Im Jaebum you fucking son of a bitch. _

You know he’s doing this on purpose; to prove the point that you’ve been thoroughly ostracised in school. That no one, not a single person, would be willing to save you even at your breaking point. Just like a decade ago, there would be no one there to save you. The anticipation from the crowd, the piercing gaze of Im Jaebum, and most importantly, the unwanted memories from years ago, was making the last bit of self resolve crumble away. 

Just before you screamed in hysteria, you see a hand shoot through the crowd, a loud and clear voice immediately following afterwards. 

“I’ll do it. I’ll take her place.”

Your head snaps in the direction of the voice, the low timbre of a male register hitting your senses. The crowd parts for said male like they did for you before, giving you an unobstructed view of him whom was now heading in your direction. 

His short hair was roughly chopped at the edges, small tufts standing out like spikes from the messy styling. His long sleeves and baggy outfit hid most of his body, but still, even from this wide distance, you see the huge swinging of his arms and the long strides he took. He walked with a sense of purpose, the aura surrounding him commanding for undivided attention from everyone that was watching, and you were no exception. Your eyes were completely fixated on him, and you soon found his fox-like eyes boring into yours as he looked up to scale the steps. He locks onto you even as he brushes past to walk towards a beckoning Jaebum. 

“Let’s give him a round of applause everyone! Our school’s star basketball player Brian Kang has offered to take Rachel’s place!”

You expected Brian Kang to wave or acknowledge the adoring crowd below but he simply turns towards the swirling pool with a stoic expression on his face, brushing off Jaebum’s hand on his shoulders rather nonchalantly. Only you could see it; the rough shove of Jaebum’s hands off his shoulders, the burning glare he shoots Jaebum from over his shoulder, and his lips almost coming up into a menacing snarl. 

You instinctively take a step back when Brian Kang comes to stand beside you, making space for him to settle into the seat. You watch as the seat releases him into the pool as the timer ends it’s countdown, him surfacing after a few seconds to slick his hair out of his face, earning a few dolphin screams from the cheering crowd. 

You know you should be feeling thankful that he took your place to go under the water, but instead, you watch in anger as he takes the fall for you. 

_ Brian Kang you fucking idiot.  _


	5. Deal

 

Whilst the crowd still had their attention solely focused on Brian Kang, you silently made your way down from the elevated podium to the ground, hoping to slip away through the crowd and disappear. Yet you had no such luck. You soon find yourself in the middle of an onslaught as adoring fangirls and fanboys alike charged towards Brian Kang. You couldn’t dodge them fast enough and you were soon assaulted by a barrage of hits and shoves. The last shove was the hardest, and it had you falling to the ground, knocking the wind out of you in the process. Wincing as you held onto your shoulder, you looked up to glare at the rude girl who didn’t even bother to apologise, curses already hanging by your lips. 

Only to be silenced by Brian Kang’s fiery gaze. 

Just like before, his eyes were locked onto yours, with you being the sole subject of his focus. Not even a single glance for a millisecond at anyone in the crowd of people surrounding him, all vying for his attention. All he could see was you. Your cheeks burned under the intensity of his gaze, and you did not appreciate the feeling of being scrutinised by a complete stranger. 

Turning away, you stood up from the ground with a huff, making a dash for the school building right at the end of the school. 

You wanted to be away from the crowd, 

Away from the humiliation, 

And away from Brian Kang. 

Something tells you that he’s not quite done with you yet, but you have no intention to stick around and find out if that’s true. 

\---

Pushing open the light metal door, you deeply inhaled the cold winter air, relishing in the coolness that now glazed over the back of your throat. You made the mistake of looking up, causing yourself to be momentarily blinded by the intense rays of the winter sun. Once your vision cleared, you shuffled over to lean against the wall, sticking your head out over the edge to let the wind fan against your face. The cold wind was always so soothing, and this time round, you hoped that the wind could blow away the bad memories from the whole fiasco just now. It was silly to think that way, you know. But fear does sometimes make one lose all sense of rationality. You begin to wish upon the silliest things, hoping that by a miraculous stroke of luck, you could be saved. 

The tranquility of your quiet moment was broken by the sound of the metal door slamming against the concrete wall behind you, followed by the loud panting of someone. Wearing a scowl on your face, you turned around to stare at the intruder. A familiar mop of messy black hair greets you, and the same fox-like eyes finds yours again for the third time today when mystery intruder lifts his head up to face you. 

“Ya Rachel Hwang. When someone saves you, shouldn’t you at least say thank you? Or a sorry would suffice.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong so why should I apologise? Besides, I didn’t ask to be saved.”

“Oh so you’re going to play the saint now and pretend that you had it under control? Anyone looking could tell that you were terrified. In that scenario just now, I was a hero.” 

“A hero? What ridiculous nonsense.”

“Ya.”

“You’re a fallen hero Brian Kang. With that little ‘heroic’ act of yours just now, you’ve basically fallen from grace. You’re now forever associated with me, and you’re going to be everyone’s target now. When you realise that you’re the topic of every malicious hallway gossip, maybe you won’t be so proud of your ‘heroic’ act anymore.”

You narrow your eyes at the last sentence, hoping your sharp words would pierce through his strong facade and make him realise that his metaphorical shining armour was a useless defence against the fire breathing dragons that ran the school hierarchy. Yet, just like before, Brian Kang clearly remained unfazed. Instead, he merely sets his lips in a thin line before saying, 

“That’s alright. I’ve got nothing to lose anyways.”

“What do you mean you have nothing to lose? That huge crowd of people cheering for you just now; you’ve got a reputation to keep  _ school star basketball player _ . In case you forgot.”

Brian’s head hangs low for a second, letting out a scoff. 

“Not anymore. Ayeon just very publicly announced to her thousands of Instagram followers that she dumped me. As you said earlier on, I have indeed fallen from grace.”

The mere mention of Ayeon’s name sets off a flare within you, anger showing on your features for a short while. You know you shouldn’t be solely blaming her for the dismiss of your relationship with Jaebum; after all, it takes two hands to clap. But the mention of her name still rubs you the wrong way. You were still angry at both Jaebum and Ayeon, and you were extremely bitter that both of them were the cause for your sudden sorry state. 

Things were still the same. You were full of spite, and - 

“You want Jaebum to pay, I can see that. So let me cut to the chase: I’m here today to offer you something. A business proposal, you could call it that. Something that could work for the both of us.”

Brian Kang now has your full attention. 

“Carry on.”

“Fake dating.”

You turn back to face the ledge, signalling the end of a conversation. The idea was absurd; to act like you’re in love with a complete stranger. You knew that you couldn’t do that, the idea would simply never pull through and no one would believe your little show. 

“Look Rachel, I know it sounds crazy but listen till the end.” 

Brian Kang strides over to stand beside you now, leaning against the low wall as he looks at your side profile. 

“You and I stand to gain from this arrangement. Im Jaebum is a man with an inflated ego. After how you disgraced him in the canteen months ago, his self-esteem is now thoroughly crushed. A man being beaten up by a female in front of the whole school. His sole goal would be to get revenge against you; to see you crushed like an insignificant bug under his fingertips. He did that once in the canteen back then, and he did that today at the dunking booth. You and I both know that he enjoyed every second of it; being able to make you look bad. He basks in the sick glory he gets by making you an outcast so that your life in this school would be miserable. Why do you want to give him that perverse satisfaction by going around looking so beaten down like you did just now? By pretending to be happy with me, you can finally show Im Jaebum that your happiness is no longer in his control, and that you’re fully capable of being content without him. It’s time you took matters into your own hands, and reclaim your happiness, don’t you think?

It’s time to rip Im Jaebum out of the sweet illusion of the power he thinks possesses over people’s lives.”

A heavy silence falls between the both of you as you turn to make eye contact with Brian Kang. You can’t deny it, he makes a very convincing argument. You knew Im Jaebum well enough, and you knew that every word that Brian Kang uttered was absolutely true. He was used to being the one in control and if you were to tear that control away from him, it would make him livid; maybe even drive him insane. 

And right now, you knew you would give  _ anything _ to see Im Jaebum break from his perfect image. 

But still, you didn’t see how Brian stood to gain from this deal. 

“You’ve only talked about what I stand to gain from this deal. What about you Brian Kang? You and I aren’t supposed to be the losing parties in this agreement.”

“I get to show Ayeon what she’s missing out on. And once she sees that, she’ll break up with Im Jaebum, and I get to have her back. You get to spite Im Jaebum, and I get to win her back. I did promise you that both of us would gain from the proposal.”

“It’s a very...convincing proposal. But we should agree on some terms and conditions, don’t you think so?”

“Don’t worry, I got that all figured out. You can pass me your phone number later, and we can discuss about it. So… I take it that we have an agreement?”

Brian Kang sticks his hand out in an old-fashioned manner, and you stare at it, making a quick decision in your head. 

Brian Kang was right. Like him, you had nothing to lose. You could only stand to gain from this agreement. 

“Congratulations Brian Kang, you have just earned yourself a business partner.”

\---

Later that night, you got a text from him just like he said he would.

**From: Brian Kang**

**The terms and conditions that you’ve requested for. If it’s all ok with you, the deal starts tomorrow.**

****1\. Public displays of affection only, no affection out of the public eye.** **

**2\. Don't get involved in one another's personal lives. All this is just for show.**

**3\. Don't catch feelings for one another.**

**4.This will all end once I get Ayeon back.”**

 

**Do we have a deal?**

 

_ From: Rachel Hwang _

_ Deal.  _


	6. Showtime

 

You and Brian keep to the deal....fairly...well. You let out a deep sigh once you finish typing your comment on his latest Instagram post, one that was filled with sickeningly sweet hearts and terms of endearment. You dropped your phone on the table with a thud, burying your head in your hands as your fingers and toes curled in disgust at the ridiculous thing that you were doing. You hated having to play pretend, but this was the best plan so far.

Things were still awkward between the both of you; after all, you two were still strangers. Hence, the first part of his brilliant plan that did not involve much skinship as you both tried to ease into one another was to take proof shots of your “relationship”. Selfies together, pictures of both of you holding hands. Shots like these soon went up all over both your social media feeds, and the growing number of likes with each successive post gave both of you some reassurance that people were buying into your love story. To further convince them, Brian insisted that both of you left comments on each other’s posts which thus led you to this sorry state.

All of this might be enough for a short while, but you knew that onlookers would be disillusioned by the posts, and that soon, you would have to do more to convince people of the authenticity of your relationship.

\---

Heading into the washroom to freshen up, you entered only to have three pairs of eyes focused on you, their eyes never leaving your figure until you’re behind the safety of the stall walls. You wait in bated breath for the unnecessary comments that were sure to come – and as usual, you were not surprised by what you heard.

“Rachel Hwang and Brian Kang… do you think they’re real?”

“Well… the photos on their social media are kind of cute, but I haven’t seen them in public yet so I’m not totally convinced.”

“Come on, the both of you. Their whole relationship is obviously a lie. Anyone can fake a photo; but I’ll give them credit for impressive Photoshop skills. It almost looks real. Besides… this is all happening after both of them got dumped by their exes. All too much of a coincidence, don’t you think?”

You bunch up the ends of your school skirt in frustration, knowing that the effectiveness of the initial plan has worn off. Everything was happening as you knew it would and Brian and you would have to come up with a new plan to be more convincing to the general public. Keeping up with this act will only make both of you seem silly – you needed something _more_.

Stepping out of the cubicle, you kept your face straight, showing that you were clearly unfazed by their comments. The conversation went hush in your presence, the three girls leaving silently after sending one last glance in your direction. Wringing your hands dry from the water, you quickly formulated a plan in your head, and you could only hope that Brian would know how to play along with you.

Exiting the washroom, you turned to head back to class, only to come face to face with Brian Kang. Or to be more exact, his chest. You instinctively took a step back due to the close proximity. Despite the time spent with one another, you were still not used to being around him. His eyes were also blown wide at the sudden encounter, a sure sign that he too, was still uncomfortable around you.

“Oh…Rachel…you’re here.”

His voice was small, and the tone was clipped.

_Aish Brian Kang… what kind of reaction is this?_

Glancing over his shoulder, you could see the three girls from before turning over to look at the both of you as they sniggered under their breath. Their eyes scanned you from top to bottom, seeming to laugh at your “boyfriend’s” lacklustre response towards you.

_I can’t let them have the last laugh. I have to be convincing._

“Brian, let’s go have lunch together later ok? What are you craving?”

Stepping forward, you quickly laced your fingers with his. Using your interlocked fingers as leverage, you raised on your tiptoes to reach his cheek, placing a quick peck on his cheek bone. Brian eyes grow two times wider at your sudden action, his eyes looking straight at yours seeming to ask the question: _What was that for?_

You give his hand a light squeeze, code for: _We need to be more convincing in public, play along._ You smiled sweetly at the end to prove your point, desperately hoping that he’ll get the hint. You knew that Brian Kang got the hint when he smiles sweetly at you; the one where his lips pull back completely to show his teeth and his eyes turn into crescents. Bringing your intertwined hands to his lips, Brian made sure that the sound of him kissing your hand was extra loud. Another quick glance over his shoulder; and you were certain that that both of you now had the attention of the three girls from before. Their eyes kept shifting over to you, trying to be subtle but not quite working out.

_Great. We got them. Let’s keep up the show Brian Kang, don’t mess up._

On cue, Brian spins you around so that the two of you are now facing the girls, hooking an arm around your shoulders around you naturally. Pulling you closer by your shoulder, he presses a long kiss to your cheek before connecting his forehead to your temple.

“Aigoo~ is my baby worrying about my meals? I eat my meals on time, and I eat anything. You know that.”

“Ok, then I’ll decide your lunch menu for you later.”

“Sure~”

As you turn the corner to head to the canteen, you hear the girls scoffing behind you – and you know that you have succeeded.

“I did well, didn’t I?”

“Well done Brian Kang, let’s keep this up. Show isn’t over.”

\---

That was how you found yourself sharing a table during lunch breaks with Brian Kang and his friends from that day onwards. It was tough trying to get Esther to agree initially but having Jae there made things much easier. He’s easy to talk to, and they share common interests, which earned Jae bonus points for Jae in Esther’s handbook of friends. Today too, they’re having a heated debate on who’s a better player in League of Legends – you guess that’s just how the both of them make friends.

“Come on, I’m older. I’m definitely the better player with more experience.”

Esther snorts, one that sounds like a pig’s before retorting,

“Yea right. Being older also means you’re weaker Jae. Be careful when you play, the brittle bones in your fingers might break.”

“You did not!”

You shake my head as you turn your attention away from the both of them, you can’t stand watching the two of them argue for the next 20 minutes. Scanning the table, you quietly observe the mix of mismatched people at the table.

Jae and Esther were bickering at a corner – that’s a given. Sungjin has his eyes glued to his phone screen, observing the team’s last friendly match against the neighbouring Yongsan High School. He’s meticulously taking down notes on each member’s performance, having a list of merits, demerits and training methods for them to work on their weaker techniques. Meticulous, hardworking and dedicated Sungjin, there’s a reason why he’s the captain and you can see why. Over on the other side, Wonpil is enthusiastically explaining the rules of the basketball game to Dowoon, his hand gestures wide as his facial expression tell another story on their own. Wonpil is always so bright and ready to lend a helping hand, you’re sure Dowoon will be in good hands under his guidance. Your gaze lingers on Dowoon a little longer, observing the way the young freshmen has his head bowed in concentration, nodding along to every point that Wonpil makes. He looks up for a millisecond and catches your eye. You give him a reassuring smile, encouraging him as he tries to keep up with Wonpil’s pace. He gives you a small smile in return, the corners of his lips lifting up just _slightly_.

Ah sweet Dowoon – you have a soft spot for him. He’s in your Biology class, which makes him the person you see the most amongst all of them and consequently the one you’re most comfortable with as well. Sometimes you chance upon him feeding the strays that come through the broken fence on the north side of the school and you find yourself touched by his kind gestures towards those furry friends. There’s definitely something special about Dowoon… maybe you two could even become friends one day. (But you’ll have to break through his shy exterior first)

Brian is…

You didn’t have time to contemplate on Brian when you hear the unmistakable raucous laughter reach your ears. It has to be Im Jaebum – no doubt. Brian stiffens beside you, casually placing a hand on the back of your seat. He’s silently staking his claim on you, and that gives you enough affirmation that Ayeon is also in tow. They take a seat at the table right in front of yours, their eyes never leaving the two of you even after they sat down. It was a clear provocation, and Brian immediately began his counterattack.

Shifting the hand behind you to your waist, he pulls you closer to him, your thighs now touching one another’s. He dips his head again to give you a kiss on the cheek, and perhaps Jaebum’s eyes grow a shade darker.

“Play along Rachel, now’s the time to show off.”

“I don’t need to be told twice Brian Kang.”

As his lips leaves your cheek, he smiles at you, signalling the start of your little show.

“Babe, I’m still hungry!”

“You big baby, here, have my kimbap.”

You pinch his nose bridge lightly to make the act more believable, and he responds by giving you a cute nose scrunch.

“Thank you~”

Picking up two rolls at once, he slides them into his mouth easily but as he chews, he frowns.

“This doesn’t taste nice… maybe if you fed me it’ll be better.”

Your insides curl at the thought of feeding a fully-grown man food, but you hide your grimace behind a laugh. Taking the chopsticks from his hand, you took the last roll from the box and held it in front of his mouth, hoping he would quickly eat the roll so this could end. Yet, Brian Kang always seems to have other plans.

Wrapping his hand around yours, he guides your hand to place the roll inside his mouth, staring at you with love the entire while as he chewed. From your peripheral vision, you see Jaebum stabbing his food, his mouth no longer moving. He’s lost his appetite, and you bask in the glory of this small victory. You eventually want to completely crush him, but for now, ruining his day in any small manner would suffice too. Ayeon doesn’t look too good either, the colour has drained from her face.

“Indeed, it’s way better when you feed me Rachel. This tastes the best.”

“Glad you’re eating well Brian.”

You caress the side of his face, and Brian catches on immediately. Leaning forward to give you a quick peck, you meet him halfway, hoping that you taking the initiative might be the first step to ensuring that people accept your relationship to be true and most importantly, piss off Im Jaebum. Sure enough, they stand from their seats almost immediately, storming their way out of the canteen.

You’re still thrown off sometimes by Brian Kang’s bold public display of affections, but if tolerating it means that you get to see Im Jaebum all riled up, it’s worth it.


	7. Game well played

 

It’s been about a week now since the last incident with Jaebum and the start of your regular lunch breaks spent with Brian and his group of friends. After seeing your stupefied expressions at his previous bold public displays of affection, Brian considerably tones down. Now, he holds you close with a loose hand hanging around your waist or shoulders and eats out from your plate freely, but he no longer attempts to kiss you. Somehow, that allows you to know Brian Kang better as a person, and not simply as your fake boyfriend. When you no longer have to be on your guard around him, you have time to observe him. Most of the time, you’d describe him as annoying. He’s always repeating after the members or mimicking them. When you walk past his class, he’s not even paying attention to the lesson, having either his legs or head propped laying on top of his desk. There wasn’t a single good point about him no matter how hard you tried to search – until today.

As usual, the lunch table was in chaos today. Wonpil, Dowoon and Brian were thoroughly engrossed in a game, occasionally letting out shrieks and attracting the attention of the neighbouring tables. Jae and Esther were off at the corner again, this time debating on politics. Jae looks at Esther a little differently these days; he’s more attentive, with a slight glow in his eyes that looks suspiciously like love and admiration. You were certain that you were going to hear good news from the two soon, and you smile slightly at the thought. This leaves you and Sungjin to be lone souls at the table, until he invites you over to watch a video.

“Ya Rachel, you look bored, want to watch Brian play?”

“Am I allowed to?”

“Sure, you can. Scoot over.”

He passes you the phone, and the first five seconds of the video already has your eyeballs popping out of their sockets. Brian was about to land a shot into the hoop and it was clear the opponent attacking from behind was aiming to snatch the ball from his hands. By some mistake, the opponent hooked onto Brian’s arm before landing, the downward force of the movement causing Brian’s shoulder joint to pop from its’ socket. For a split second, you can see his arm hanging limp, with a clear hollow between his shoulder and arm. Yet, Brian merely popped his shoulder back in as he spun around, before charging forward and carrying on with the game like nothing happened. You pause the video in shock, turning to Sungjin in disbelief.

“Is the game- is he- wait I mean, is the- is the game always… this…violent…?”

“Not always, this is one of the more violent games this season but only because it’s the semi-finals.”

“Does he not…feel any pain? How can he carry on playing like that?”

“Oh, that shoulder incident just now? That’s nothing to Kang Bra. It’s happened so many times I’ve lost track of the number of times he’s popped his own shoulder back like it’s a daily occurrence.”

“That’s crazy…”

“Yea but it’s Brian Kang. That guy has done crazier things. His worst injury was probably the one two years back. An opponent twice his size slammed into him at full force, sending him skidding halfway across the court. His skin tore from the burn, and he had soaked through part of his shirt with blood until he realised that he was injured and got pulled off court. Once Brian Kang sets his heart onto something, he never loses focus. We’re just lucky that basketball happens to be one of those things, and earned ourselves a dedicated member for the past 3 years. The only downside is that we have to babysit him all the time when he gets injured, which is very often.”

Turning to Brian Kang, that was when you saw it. He’s playing the game against the younger ones with only one hand today, his right hand resting against his thigh. When he does move it, it’s a slow and small movement, the outline of the bandages on his shoulder showing against the tight-fitting polo tee. He hides his grimace behind a smile, but that doesn’t escape your eye. They say that if you look hard enough, you’ll find what you seek, and today you’ve finally found it.

Your attention on Brian was broken when Jae calls your name, turning your head to face the taller male.

“Rachel! Do you want to come and watch the basketball finals this coming Friday? Esther’s watching the game, so you two can come together.”

Jae’s words catch the attention of Brian, whom now turns to face you in anticipation of your answer. Your eyes flit over to his for a split second, wondering if you should say yes or no. However, looking at Brian only reminds you of the painful injury that he suffered on court, causing your goose bumps to stand. You’ve never been one to have a stomach for the gore and rough play that ensues during sports, and you knew you wouldn’t enjoy the game watching players get injured again and again.

The answer was clear.

“Sorry Jae… I think I’ll give the game a miss. Sports isn’t really my thing but I’m still cheering for all of you nonetheless!”

The table erupts in protest at your words, Wonpil in particular begging you fervently to come. You thank the heavens when the school bell saves you, the boys dispersing in all directions for their next classes. Only Brian lingers a little longer at the table, glancing at you from over his shoulders. He’s thinking of something, you know, but you’ll just have to wait for him to tell you about it.

\---

Brian is already waiting for you outside your class when it ends, and you’re no longer shocked to see him. It’s been happening frequently for some time now – it would be odd if you didn’t see him instead. Stretching out his hand wordlessly, you take it and he laces his fingers with yours before leading you towards the school gates. He’s silent today and his eyebrows are furrowed – it’s the same look he had at the canteen just now.

“What are you thinking of?”

“I’m glad you asked. I was thinking that you should come and watch our game on Friday. This is all business. We made it to the finals and the whole school will be there. It’s the perfect opportunity to reach a wider audience, and hopefully get their attention more. It’s a long stretch but it’s worth the shot.”

Your heart clenches at the thought of basketball finals, but not because you’ll have to see Im Jaebum, but because you know Brian will get hurt, for sure. He’s the star player of the team; he’s going to be everyone’s target during the finals. You’ve spent the last half of your lesson secretly watching his videos from under your table, and each injury you saw was worst than the next, making your stomach churn and your blood curdle. You really would prefer to not have to witness him taking a beating in person… but he does have a good point. Besides, he’s looking at you with expectant eyes now, and it’s hard to reject him. Finally, you relent.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

“Great.”

By now, both of you are far from the school gates and out of everyone’s sight. The moment he seals the deal, he lets go of your hand nonchalantly, before continuing on his path in front of you.

_Brian Kang, you’re really good at this game._


	8. Mission accomplished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of blood

 

 

You barely have time to process anything before you were sucked right into the monster’s belly. The crowd had pushed you along into the gymnasium, Esther’s grip on your hand almost lost as the crowd swelled. After extricating yourself from the crowd to reach your seating area, there was the additional challenge of getting to the seat itself. The gap between the seats were narrow and you stepped on a few toes in the process, considering yourself victorious when you were finally able to plop down in your seat with a huff. You’ve never been to a match before, so you took your time to observe your surroundings. The seats right above you were steadily filled with the entire crowd bathed in red. Some simply wore red to show their support, whereas dedicated fans of the school’s basketball team were decked in the jersey of their favourite player – and unsurprisingly, you saw a few with the huge words “B.KANG” stencilled on them.

_Of course… their star player. Everyone loves him._

The reminder of his immense popularity made you queasy, your throat suddenly turning parch dry. You were involuntarily here today to see him get slammed around on court and watch helplessly as injuries get inflicted upon him. You clearly didn’t have the stomach for this – you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You scanned around for an escape route but unfortunately, you were trapped in by people from all corners and besides, hearing Jimin’s voice booming through the speakers meant that the game was about to begin. You had no choice but to resign to your fate and you sunk further into your seat, crossing your fingers for good measure as you prayed for his safety.

_Please let him be ok today… no more bad injuries…_

“Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, to the 31st National A division inter-school basketball tournament!”

The previously silent crowd now erupted into a cacophony of cheers around you, your school supporters using all sorts of props they had available to rise their volume above the opposing school. Not wanting to seem out of place, you let out a little hoot from your seat, your sound immediately fading out as you worried for the imminent future. After the screaming died out on its own, Jimin carried on with her introductory speech of both teams, building anticipation for the upcoming match.

“Known as the black horses of this season, they are the team that has risen through the ranks steadily, beating out their opponents initially with close scores. Yet, they surprised us once again, and secured an impressive 10-0 win over their semi-final opponents last week, setting a personal best for their school. Without further ado, let’s welcome Chung An High School!”

This time round, the crowd on the other end of the gym erupted into wild cheers as their basketball team made their way on court, all decked out in suave black jerseys. It was obvious that they had superior height over your school players, which would definitely tilt the game in their favour, even if it’s for a little bit. The thought of one of them tackling Brian Kang had you digging your nails into your palms, the feeling of fear intensifying and crawling under your skin. Jimin carried on with her speech, not giving you much time to be distracted by your emotions.

“With an impressive track record each year, the next team is one that never disappoints. Just like the years before, they knocked out their opponents during the preliminary rounds and secured a spot in the finals after star player Brian Kang secured the final goal for them, winning last week’s semi-final game with a score of 12-11. Let’s now welcome the defending champions of the A division inter-school games – Seoul National High School!”

From your front row seats, you got a good view of captain Sungjin leading the team in, and for a split moment, pride swelled within you when you saw the red jerseys the team so proudly wore, and felt the energy radiating off from the crowd behind you. The infectious energy reached the team, and you could see some of them smiling at the sight of the immense support they had from their student body. The only exception to the joyous mood was Brian Kang, whom you easily spot right in front of you, courtesy of your front row seat. Gone was the playful glint in his eyes that was ever present – his eyes were hard as glass now, the steely gaze filled with determination conveying one unmistakable message: the conviction to win. He sized up his opponents one by one, his dangerous stare sending shivers down your spine even from the long distance away.

He could become a killing machine today – or be killed.

Both teams met at the centre of the court, shaking hands with one another. With the distance closed now, it gave you a clearer view of Brian, and the faint purple tint still around his shoulder.

The buzzer lights up with the timing, and both teams position themselves accordingly around the court. Being the tallest, centre Jae is sent right into the middle of the court for the tip-off with the opposing team, the two forwards Brian and Sungjin right beside Jae, ready to intercept the ball when it comes flying. Wonpil and Dowoon take their positions as shooting guard and point guard respectively, their eyes trained on the ball as well. Like Brian, gone was Wonpil’s usual smile; his lips were now set in a thin line, his body ready to react to any changes on court. The drastic change in Wonpil shocked you more than Brian; it is very clear that things were getting serious now. Instinctively, you sat up straighter in your seat, breathing shallowly in anticipation for the next move.

The moment the empire tosses the ball up in the air, everything become a blur of activity. Jae successfully catches hold of the ball, making use of the reaction time of the opposing team to swivel on his left foot to face Brian before tossing him the ball. Ball in hand, Brian dribbles as he makes a beeline for the hoop on the other hand, Wonpil and Sungjin following him closely on both sides to make sure that no one gets the chance to intercept the ball. When Dowoon is finally in sight, he tosses the ball forward to him, before getting behind Dowoon to defend him. The opposing team is still far behind the pair and Dowoon takes the chance to shoot an uninterrupted three pointer from the arc line, earning the first goal of today’s game. On cue, the buzzer lights up 3 – 0 in favour of your school, and wild cheers erupted behind you, the boys breaking out into a smile for the first time of the day. They’re off to a good start, and no injuries so far. You were silently hoping that it would stay that way, but that was wishful thinking. The opposing team gathered in the corner to discuss their game play, eyes darting to Brian every now and then. He was right in front of you now, taking a swig right out of the open bottle in your hand.

“How’s your first game so far? That was cool, wasn’t it?”

“It was but…”

You trailed off, the uneasy knot in the pit of your stomach only intensifying at the current happenings. Head tilted up to drink from the bottle, he lowered his eyes to focus on you, raising his eyebrows to signal you to continue.

“Just be careful. You’re still nursing an injury.”

“I’ll…try.”

Handing the bottle back to you with a smile, he jogs on court again, positioning himself behind Jae again to intercept the ball when it comes. Jae gets hold of the ball again after the tip off but this time round, the other team is already prepared. One zooms in front of Brian the moment the game started, effectively blocking him off from the rest of the team. Sungjin’s open, so the ball heads in his direction. Brian snarls at the lost opportunity, but wastes no time in chasing after Sungjin, making himself available if needed. This time round, the Chung An team catches on quickly as well, blocking Brian’s every move. Sungjin is now surrounded by the other team, with no team members open for him to toss the ball towards. Acting fast, Brian ducks underneath his opponent to reach Sungjin, but no one saw him coming.

From Brian’s left, a black figure came charging out to grab the ball, his full force slamming into Brian. The impact sends Brian skidding across the court, his shoulder and ribcage taking most of the impact as he falls sideways. You swore you heard an audible crack when his shoulder slams against the hard floor, and judging from the way that he’s cradling his shoulder from his spot on the floor, you knew you were right. The empire gets ready to call for a timeout, but Brian rises from the floor before he can make a move, rotating his shoulders lightly to get the blood flowing. Sungjin frowns at the sight, knowing that Brian’s injury is much worse than he lets it appear to be. Yet he can’t pay Brian much attention because the game has started again, and they need to defend their title.

You keep your eyes on Brian the whole time, noticing the scrunch on his face when he breathes a little too heavily, and how he doesn’t swing the injured shoulder as much when he runs. The time is ticking, and the game gradually reached the halfway mark, but neither team are making progress. Chung An hasn’t scored a single goal from the beginning, and Seoul National only has a 3 point lead from Dowoon’s initial score at the very beginning. The margin wasn’t enough to guarantee them their win, and the team was getting antsy. Half the game has passed, and each team only has half the time left to secure their victory. The atmosphere in the entire gym is tense, and everyone is following every move happening on court with their sharp, hawk-like gaze.

Once again, Brian has the ball after Wonpil successfully escapes from each opponent by keeping low, tossing a low ball that Brian catches with ease. Charging across the court, Brian successfully breaks through each human barrier to finally reach the hoop, jumping high to dunk –

Only to have the ball snatched from him in mid-air.

Using his superior height, Brian’s opponent snuck up from behind, slapping the ball away to prevent it from reaching the goal. The sudden attack made Brian lose his balance, and he landed wrongly. By now, the ball was on the other end of the court, and the attention has already shifted away from Brian. So, you were the only one that saw, and consequently the only one hurting for him.

When he landed, his ankle stuck out in such an awkward manner before rebounding back, and there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in your mind that he has just sprained his ankle. But being Brian Kang that doesn’t know how to give up, he merely limped for a short while before running full force to give Jae some backup. But he was too late, and Chung An scored their first three pointer, equalising the game. They had 10 minutes left on a buzzer – either one side scored within the next 10 minutes to win, or both teams head into overtime.

You saw Brian curse under his breath before running up to take a position beside Jae, whom now had the ball. The ball flew around the court for the next few minutes, both sides trying unsuccessfully to land the winning goal. The game is now down to its last 3 minutes, and somehow the ball is in Brian’s hands again. Something had a lit up a fire within him and there was no stopping this raging fire now. Charging forward once again, Brian got so close to the goal…only to be hit in the face by something, and have the empire blowing the whistle to signal a foul, giving Seoul National a free penalty throw.

Sungjin was right by his side, holding onto his face as he turned it from side to side to inspect the damage. Brian was still slightly dazed by the contact, unable to form a coherent sentence all of a sudden.

“Sungjin- Hyung- what- what- what just happened?”

“I think, you just got punched in a face by an opponent.”

Brushing his thumb lightly against Brian’s cheekbones, Sungjin earned a hiss from the younger male, and a rough swat of his hand away from his face. Darting out his tongue to moist his lips, Brian can taste the coppery blood seeping from the split in his lip.

This, he can still handle, but why does the side of his face feel warm and –

“Shit Brian, you’re bleeding.”

“Yea I know, but hyung it’s just the lip, it’s – ”

“No, it’s not fine you idiot. I meant your split brow, not your lips.”

That was when Brian felt the first droplet land on his eyelid, the sticky liquid threatening to glue his eye shut.

“Ok let’s get you off court. You need stitches for that.”

“No hyung, let me make the penalty shot.”

“This isn’t up for discussion Kang. You’re – ”

“Please, they got that goal just now because of me. I lost the ball, let me make up for it.”

Sungjin doesn’t want to let Brian on court again in his battered state, but he knew Brian would never forgive himself if he wasn’t the one making the penalty shot. Brian Kang has to be the one to secure their victory. When Sungjin’s grip on his shoulder loosens, Brian knows he’s won the argument. He stands as Wonpil passes him the ball before assuming his position just behind the free throw line.

_Just this goal… this is all we need…_

Raising his arms above his head, Brian makes sure he gets a firm grip on the ball before aiming it at the hoop. All eyes follow the ball’s trajectory as it sails through the air… before landing cleanly through the hoop. The score panel switches to 4 – 3 in your school’s favour as the buzzer buzzes, signalling the end of the game.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the champions for the 31st National A Division inter-school basketball tournament – Seoul National High School!”

On cue, everyone behind you stands up in their seats to give the school team a standing ovation, and from your spot in the crowd, you watch as the boys bow and wave at the crowd to thank them for their support. But after a few short bows, Sungjin is right by Brian’s side to help him off court, deeming him more deserving of his attention than the audience. Looking upon the sight, you dashed across the court to help Sungjin support Brian, slipping under his body to gingerly lift his arm onto your shoulder, not minding the sweat that was now staining your outfit. Brian pauses in his step, snapping his head to look at you through his good eye; the other was now completely glued shut by the blood. He was stunned by your kindness; he didn’t expect you to care this much for him. This pause gave the cameras enough time to catch up with the star player that they all wanted to interview, the coaches and Sungjin moving them aside so that they can have Brian inside to get treated. The live stream now cuts to you and Brian, capturing the little moment that the two of you have. Your faces were now on the big screen for everyone to see, and you’re aware that this was the perfect timing to put your deal with him into action.

Leaning forward, you press your lips lightly against Brian’s, giving him a peck and being cautious to avoid the area where the split was. Your sweet act earned a few cheers from the crowd and the boys but not everyone was pleased. Two people, in particular, seem to be fuming mad. Turning towards the back, you catch Jaebum and Ayeon’s eye, having marked out their positions since the start of the game. They were the only two that weren’t smiling, and once the cameras were out of sight, you smirked. It gave you immense satisfaction to know that you were the one behind their misery; they must certainly be feeling outraged at the fact that you managed to upstage them.

_Mission accomplished._


	9. Well done again my friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of blood, mild cursing

 

Once out of the public eye, first aid personnel rushed over to take over your position, dragging Brian and Sungjin away. The sudden loss of human contact left you empty and cold, your hands already missing the warmth of his body as soon as he left you. Not wanting to go back to the roaring crowd yet not knowing where to leave, you slotted yourself carefully in a small corner, making way for the rest of the team to enter. Looking at their exuberant faces, you found yourself smiling softly at the sight, happy that their efforts for the past few months have paid off greatly. You didn’t know many of them personally, but you didn’t need to know someone to feel happy for them. You just did. At this moment, more first aid personnel rushed over, doing a once-over of the boys to check for anyone that had wounds that needed to be tended to.

The sight reminded you of the reason that you were in the locker room in the first place: **_Brian Kang_**.

Scanning the room frantically, your eyes finally zeroed in on the man sitting right on the opposite side of the room. His jersey was now gone, and you could see the entire left side of his body flare up in an angry red. It started from his shoulders till the middle of his ribcage but every inch was soon covered in blue ice packs, hastily pressed in place by the first aid personnel. His eyes fluttered shut at the cool sensation, a welcome relief from the pain he had been enduring the entire game. His ankle was being slowly wrapped up in compression bandages, and he knew that this injury would heal fine on its own. But the worst was not over yet.  Blood was still pouring down the right side of his face, the small towel he was pressing against his brow almost soaked through. The first aid personnel did a great job in clearing off most of the blood on his face within minutes, giving you a clear view of the gapping split. It was an inch-long split that started at the end of the brow, travelling up the length of his forehead. Looking at the plethora of injuries that he had on his body, you winced, wondering how on earth he could endure so much pain for half the game.

_Kang Younghyun, you crazy bastard… All of those must really hurt…_

You wanted to keep your eye on him longer just to make sure that he was really alright, but the moment you saw the glint of the curved, wicked stitching needle under the harsh light, you immediately turned away, not having the stomach to witness the sight of a gaping wound being stitched up. Besides, you’ve been in this space that isn’t yours to begin with for too much time, and he was in good hands now. There was no reason for you to stay any longer.

_Where’s the damn exit?_

Finally, you spot your saving grace right at the back, and you headed straight for it, closing the door lightly behind you once you were out in the hallway alone. Melting against the white brick walls, you exhaled deeply to let out the breath that you’ve been holding in all this while, reminding yourself to breath normally. In the quietness of the empty hallway and away from the crowd, the tranquillity of the moment gave you time to look back upon the blur of events that had just happened, each memory becoming sharper and gaining greater clarity in your mind.

_The kiss._

Unconsciously, you ran your fingers lightly against your lips, remembering the feeling of his lips against yours, albeit short. His hot breath fanned across your lips just before you closed the space between the two of you, feeling his entire body tense when you placed your hands gently against the column of his neck. His lips were chapped; you could feel the broken skin pricking yours slightly. But still, his lips were soft like a pillow, making the kiss a comfortable one. You can still acutely remember the feeling of his sharp nose pressing against your cheek slightly during the kiss, feeling like a cute little boop instead of being uncomfortable. Your cheeks continued to flush a deeper shade of pink each time your mind replayed the same scene over and over again, the temperature in the hallway rising with each second. You mentally reprimanded yourself for being so silly, allowing yourself to feel so flustered over a kiss. It wasn’t like you haven’t done it before – so why was this particular kiss affecting you so much?

_Aish stop thinking about it, Rachel Hwang! Get a grip! And stop acting like a lovesick child!_

You slapped your cheeks rapidly with both palms, hoping the pain would shock your senses back into normality. (And most importantly, away from any further thoughts on Brian Kang.)

“Ya, what are you doing?”

You weren’t expecting anyone to witness your little episode so when Esther’s voice boomed through the empty hallway, you shot 2 feet into the air, grazing your head painfully against the hard brick wall.

“Ow… Ya! You scared me! What are you doing here?”

“What was that big reaction for… Ya! I could ask you the same question! Where did you disappear to after the match? What are _you_ doing here outside their locker room?”

Esther walked over to stand right before you, folding her arms in front of her chest as she tapped her foot lightly against the ground, tilting her head up to look at you from above with hooded eyes. You glared at her from your spot below, still wincing from the pain as you continued rubbing circles over the sore spot.

“The answers to your questions aren’t important anymore. I’m leaving now, so help me say hi to the boys, and tell them that they did well.”

You turned to walk away from the scene, only to be yanked back to your original spot by Esther.

“Classes for the day have been cancelled in celebration of their victory so you’ve got nowhere else to be now. Besides, you’re right outside their room now, might as well tell them what you want to say in person.”

Reaching behind you, she pushed open the door with one hand as the other shoved you into the room, and you found yourself back at where you started, the only difference this time was Esther by your side, blocking your escape route.

The sight before you were one to behold. The team was lifting Brian's battered and bruised self above their heads, tossing him up and down as he hugged their hard-earned trophy in his hands. He occasionally lifted the trophy up into the air as he let out a triumphant roar in sync with the rest of the team, the handle of it almost grazing the ceiling. You worried that his wounds might suffer more abrasion from the rough manhandling but then realised that he probably trusted his “ride-or-die” team more than anyone else in the world, and you should too. Esther and you contented yourselves by standing at the side-line; it was hard not to beam at the team celebrating in joy despite your worries about Brian’s physical health.

The team only broke apart when Jae finally caught sight of Esther, signalling for the rest of them to put Brian down slowly. Esther immediately ran forward to launch herself into the arms of the tall, lanky male, giving him a small peck on the lips when he leaned his neck down for her to reach. You widen your eyes at the couple in disbelief, marvelling at their fast progress. You’ll have time to question them about their relationship later but right now, you have a more pressing issue to settle, _namely_ – a certain _Brian Kang_ making his way _towards_ you. He’s limping on his good foot to reach you, and you decide to make the distance shorter by walking up towards him instead. Now that both of you are face to face, you got to have a better look at him.

The most jarring thing that stood out on his face was the stitches that formed a neat row of crosses to seal the wound, the edges now crusted with his dried blood. The bruise on his cheek from the punch just now still looked painful, even though the red swelling was slowly toning down to a shade of purple. The same thing was happening to his body, uneven patches of purple forming along his chest and shoulder.

Still, this crazy boy in front of you could find the energy to smile, firing questions and exclamations rapidly at you.

“Oh Rachel! You’re still here! I was wondering where you went just now after you brought me in. How was the match? Did Ayeon and – ”

Before he could get another word in on Ayeon and Jaebum’s reaction to your little kiss just now, you cut him off by wrapping your arms around him lightly, careful to not place your hands on his shoulder, your fingertips just hovering above his skin. You chose to place your head on his left side, not wanting to brush against his sore, right cheek.

“Thank you for taking all the hits for the team and pulling through with the game despite the immense pain you were. _Well done Brian Kang, you did really well today._ ”

Not being able to do anything else, you press your face a little harder against his, hoping he could feel the sincerity behind your words. Brian stood still in your arms for a short while, not daring to believe the words he’s just heard. Did someone really…just…praise him for… _playing a game_? Over time, as he got better at the game, Brian had gotten used to taking hits for the team; he would rather it be him than them, if that meant that the rest of them would be left alone most of the time to make goals. It had become a silent given at this point of time; no one ever thanked him for taking hits for the team.

But today… _someone finally did._ Furthermore, it was coming from someone that had come to see him play for the first time. In a short period of time, you were able to see his effort and that itself, touched his heart immensely.

Breaking out into a smile, Brian buried his face further into your hair, finally bringing his hands up to place them on your lower back, locking his fingers together as he tugs you closer to him. Word were lost to him now that he was overwhelmed with emotions, and it took him some time before he could get the simple words out.

“Th- Th- Thank you… Rachel.”

You let out a small laughter at his flustered self, amused at this new sight of the typically composed Brian Kang losing his cool. Pulling away from Brian, you and him share a private moment, exchanging genuine smiles with one another for the very first time as tears glisten slightly in both your eyes. There was no audience watching, no one to put up a show for. Everything about this moment was picture perfect – the only problem?

**Both of you had broken the first rule: No displays of affection outside the public eye.**


	10. Used to you

 

After the basketball finals, you and Esther both became regulars at their basketball training sessions. Or rather, Esther became a regular, and you got dragged along with her rather unwillingly.   
\---  
Esther throws her stationary into her pencil case the moment your homeroom teacher Mr Kim dismisses the class, stuffing all her personal belongings into her bag under a record of one minute.   
"Are you running away from something? Why are you so fast?"  
"To be exact, I'm running towards someone."  
"And that person would be?"  
"Jae. Basketball training starts in 30 minutes so I've got a short window of time to eat with him."  
"Alright, go on to meet your lover boy."  
You laughed as you whispered those words to Esther, turning back to face the Math question at hand.   
"Join me for their basketball trainings."  
"Oh no, I'd rather not. Sports isn't really my kind of thing."  
"It's a statement, not a question. Pack your bags now and let's go!"  
With that, Rachel began to take it upon herself to help you pack, shoving your stationary into your pencil case.   
"Wha- I never said I was going!"  
Shouldering your bag just as you said the last word, Esther left the classroom in a flash, leaving you to chase after her as she took off down the hallway.   
\---  
That was how you found yourself trailing after Jae and Esther into the basketball court, using Jae’s taller frame to hide yourself whilst attempting to run away at the same time. Esther maintains a tight grip on your bag strap so it was impossible to break free and eventually, you gave up when Jae announces your arrival.

“Yo Kang! Don’t bother calling your girl, she’s here.”

On cue, Jae and Esther step to the side to reveal you at the back, and you get the best view of Brian’s reaction from the moment he knows you’re here, to the moment he finally sees you.

He snaps his head up when he hears Jae’s voice, his fingers just hovering above the dial icon beside your name. His eyes grow wide as his eyebrows shoot up, turning his body around frantically to find you. When he finally sees you, everything else fades out, and all you can see is him, each moment now moving in slow motion.

Both of you lock eyes instantly, and he immediately breaks out into a wide smile, his eyes turning into curves. Still grinning, he stands from his seat and you feel your breath hitch as he gets closer and closer. You memorise his every move as he makes his way over, from the way his hair bounces up and down to the way his hands swing out at a precise angle. When he finally stands in front of you, that’s when everything becomes a little clearer, and you start to notice every little thing about him that you have never bothered to know about before. Small strands of hair are now sticking out from his bed of hair due to the running before, the crinkles in his eyes showing; you count two lines on his right eye and one of his left. He can’t stop the wide smile on his face, trying to hide his teeth to seem normal, but then showing them again just because he cannot contain his excitement upon seeing you. He soon expresses his excitement verbally, causing you to blush from his comments.

“Oh! You’re here! I was just about to call you before Jae came in, hoping that you’ll still be in school. I’m happy that you’re here, it feels like I haven’t seen you in so long.”

You smile, shaking your head a little at his exaggeration. It has only been two days since he last saw you; you had lunch with the team as usual yesterday, but he was in the hospital for a checkup.

“I just saw you two days ago Brian Kang, it was not that long ago.”

_But I missed you._

“Ah, really? I must have forgotten then, been spending too much time in the hospital.”

Brian Kang knew that he probably seemed like an overly excited puppy at this point in time, and he was trying his best to seem normal by not smiling widely. Yet, he just really couldn’t keep his excitement in, the corners of his lips still lifting up slightly as he continued to look at you.

Likewise, you found it hard not to smile at his adorable behaviour, your lips immediately curving into a soft smile as you instinctively reach a hand up to smooth the stray strands of hair back down onto his head.

Your little action caused a commotion amongst the team, the rest of the boys crowding around you to tease you about it. Wonpil was at the forefront of all the action, wriggling into your personal space before slyly asking you,

“Oh~ what was that for~”

You jump at this close proximity, retracting your hand from Brian’s hair in a flash.

“Y-Y-Ya! Don’t come so close Kim Wonpil! It’s nothing! His hair was messy so…”

“If it’s nothing, why are you so flustered Rachel?”

Wonpil leans back, folding his arms across his chest as his lips form a knowing smirk, his eyes narrowing as he raises his eyebrows at you.

You’re running out of reasons to justify your actions, and you can only continue to stare at Wonpil with eyes blown wide. Thankfully, Brian steps in front of you to shield you from Wonpil’s prying eyes, his hands closing around your wrists gently as he pulls you behind him.

“Ay cut her some slack Wonpil, it’s just a small gesture, nothing much.”

“If fixing your hair is nothing much, a…kiss should be nothing much too… right?”

“YA!”

This time, both of you jump at the same time, incredulous looks planted on your faces.

“Aish! Both of you look so cute together! Why not?”

Now, the boys are all chanting your names, egging both of you on. Glancing to Brian, you see him swallow thickly as his grip on your wrist tightens. Neither of you are making moves, but it also seems like the team will not back off until they get what they want. The pressure slowly begins to build as more eyes begin to focus their attention on the both of you, and finally Brian relents.

In a split second, Brian leans down to place a quick kiss to your cheek, before resuming his original position.

“There, I did it. Are all of you happy now?”

The boys respond with boos and frowns, some of them even going so far as to shake their heads and jerking their thumbs downwards. The crowd only dissipates when Brian begins to kick his legs at them, and he actually manages to land one on chief trouble maker Kim Wonpil, whom manages to dodge his second kick and runs off as peals of laughter escapes his lips, absolutely delighted that he managed to tease the high and mighty Brian Kang.

Brian turns back to face you with a sheepish grin once the boys are all back in the locker rooms to get ready for the training session, finding it hard to make eye contact with you now.

“I’m really sorry about that just now… I hope –”

“Don’t sweat it, they wouldn’t have stopped hounding you if you hadn’t done it.”

He lets go off your wrist to scratch the nape of his neck in embarrassment, his heart swelling at your statement, thankful that you didn’t mind the close contact.

“Let’s take a seat? Coach is going to be here any time soon.”

On cue, their coach walks in, and you can see all the boys run out from the locker room in a flash, immediately making themselves present on court and ready to receive the next set of instructions. It doesn’t take long before the boys are being sent to run rounds around the court, and do sets for physical training. Brain sits out of the entire training, his arm in a sling making him unable to play on court. You can tell that he’s itching to get on court and throw a few hoops, judging from the way he keeps rapidly tapping his leg against the floor. Hoping to turn his attention away from his inability to play, you decide to launch a series of questions at him.

“Is Dowoon doing well?”

“Oh Dowoon-ie? Yea he’s doing great actually! He catches on really quickly, and he’s got good form. We’re really lucky to pick up this gem this year.”

“Then what about Wonpil? Since he’s also a junior player.”

Brian gladly answered all the questions you had regarding basketball, using a single hand to gesture wildly at the members, pointing out their positions and specific game play to you. You listen with rapt attention, hoping to understand this sport that he has so much passion for.

And in the process, know more about Brian Kang as a person.

3 hours of official training passed as you both continued talking, and when it’s time for free play, Brian immediately rushes out on court, tackling Sungjin that has the ball in hand. That leaves you alone with Dowoon, whom makes his way over to you with two cartons of milk in hand.

Passing one to you, he said, “I wanted to give one to Brian hyung but since he ran away… you take one, noona, and I’ll take the other.”

“Thanks, Dowoon. Sit down, training must be tiring right?”

“Yea it is. It’s fun when we just get to play a game but now that nationals are over, Coach is focusing more on technique, which is really tough.”

“Brian told me you’re doing well though.”

You turn to tell him as you sip on your drink, watching his reaction closely. You know that Dowoon gets shy when he receives compliments, and you watch on eagerly to see his flustered reaction – and he does exactly what you expected him to do.

Dowoon bows his head as he opens his milk carton, smiling shyly as his ears slowly turn red.

“Ah...really?”

“Really. You’re doing great Dowoon, well done.”

You give the shy boy a pat on the shoulder to encourage him, and he glances over at you quickly before turning his head back to the front to look upon his older brothers in admiration, unsure of how to appropriately respond to your praise. It was not like you minded his lack of words – that was just Yoon Dowoon’s style. So you continued sipping on your drink nonchalantly, turning your attention back to the boys on court. In particular, one rascal with a sling called Brian Kang. He twists and dodges on court, never letting his injury stop him at any point. You continue fixing your eyes on him until captain Sungjin calls for the end of the training session, and the team dissipates. Brian makes his way back to you, reaching for the carton of milk in your hand, which you hand over without question. It seems like having lunches with him made both of you naturals at sharing food now.

The first meeting with the rest of the team was awkward but having Dowoon and Brian by your side made things less awkward. If coming for training sessions meant getting to know Brian and Dowoon better, it wasn’t such a bad proposition.

_I could get used to this._


	11. Is this...?

 

And so, you do.

You become a regular visitor at the team’s training sessions and gradually, you’ve grown to love the team. You start to care for them like your younger siblings; and you have a particular soft spot for Dowoon because he takes Biology classes with you. All it took for you was a week to be able to match their names to their faces, positions and class levels. Now, after a month, you’re around the team so much that you’re able to match personal belongings to the person; you know whose shoes belong to whom, and whose gym bag belonged to whom. Very soon, you started helping captain Sungjin with his duties – both of you hollering at members after training sessions to bring home their basketball shoes and dirty jerseys. It was a clear indication that you were perhaps spending too much time with the boys, but that didn’t stop you from continuing to show up for trainings, sometimes with food in hand for the entire team. Brian watches all of this with pride from the side line, smiling when he saw how the boys readily accepted you into their tribe, treating you with respect like they would with their biological older sister.

Today, Brian is witness to another defining milestone of your journey in joining the team when Coach Nickhun walks up to talk to you, a sure sign that Coach was also beginning to accept you as part of this big family. Brian’s chest swells with happiness at the sight, letting out a small puff of laughter because his body can no longer physically contain his delight at the sight in front of him. Eyes never leaving your beautiful face, Brian carries on watching your interaction with Coach Nickhun, his smile growing wider by the second. He was completely oblivious to Sungjin’s presence beside him, until the older male decides to make himself known.

“Kang, you really like her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, she’s my fake – ”

Brian pauses midsentence, unable to continue the rest of the sentence. Was he… _really_ about to call you his fake girlfriend? It felt so _wrong_ to label you as his fake girlfriend when it’s been so long since you’ve been acting like one. Ever since basketball finals, you have been genuine with him and the team, lending them support in any way that you can.

The star player turned to look at his captain, confusion written all over his face. Meanwhile, Sungjin directs a pointed gaze at Brain, almost as if he expected this outcome to his question.

“Not in that way Kang. I meant liking her as a woman, as a _partner_. It feels weird labelling her as a fake girlfriend, doesn’t it?”

For a split second, Brian stares at his captain with a dumbfounded look on his face, not wanting to believe the _truth_ behind Sungjin’s words. He kicked the thought out of his head the moment it dawned upon him, not wanting to let himself immerse too much in this notion.

“Ay hyung~ what nonsense are you sprouting! I don’t see her that way, and I’m sure she does not too.”

Sungjin scoffs at his teammate, in disbelief of Brian’s stubbornness.

“Deny it all you want Kang, but your heart will eventually tell you to the truth.”

Sungjin runs off the moment he finishes the last word, going back on court where he is needed more. This gives Brian time to turn his attention back to you, whom was still talking to Coach Nickhun.

_Do I… really like her… in **that** way? No, it’s rididculous. How can I be in love with her? There is no feelings involved in this, it’s all purely business. _

Yet, the nagging feeling scratching away at his chest will not leave him alone, making him more uncomfortable by the second. Thankfully, he’s distracted by you waving him over. Jogging over leisurely, you pull Brian down to sit beside you when he’s within arm’s reach, your kneecaps now pressed against one another. You don’t give Brian a chance to greet you when you interject with your question, talking at quickly at full speed,

“I’ve got an idea, listen and tell me if it’s good. I was talking to Coach Nickhun just now, and he mentioned that he wanted to reward the entire team for winning the championships again, but he was getting sick of just bringing all of you out for a meal at some fancy restaurant. So, I suggested holding a party at my aunt’s café. We can close the place for the night just for the team; there’ll be homecooked food, you can stay as long as you want because no one is going to chase you out during closing. But then again, I’m not sure if this is a good idea, or if the celebration comes too late after your victory. Also, is it too corny or – ”

Brian’s face lights up with each proposition you make, grateful that you even thought of offering up your personal space and time to do something for the boys to appreciate their efforts. Without thinking, he slips his hands into yours, holding on tight before giving your hand a squeeze, affirming your efforts.

“I think it’s a fantastic idea. I’m sure the boys will enjoy it very much.”

Still holding on your hand, he turns back to face the court before hollering at them.

“YA KIDS! YOUR NOONA HERE WANTS TO HOLD A PARTY AT HER PLACE TO CELEBRATE OUR CHAMPIONSHIP WIN! IS EVERYONE GAME?”

The boys take some time to process his words that were shouted over the large expanse of the court and surprisingly, Jae, whom is seated right at the opposite end, asks the most important question.

“IS THERE FOOD?”

You throw your head back in laughter as Brian opens his mouth, ready to reply. But this time round, you beat him to it, completing his sentence for him like a couple would.

“THERE WILL BE! I’LL COOK!”

The entire team erupts in cheers when they hear your answer, all agreeing without the slightest bit of hesitation. Brain watches the happy scene unfold before his eyes, already counting down towards the weekend.

_This is going to be a good time._

Both of you continue to watch the team as they huddled together to discuss about their plan for the weekend now that the party is happening. Everything was going well – except that you two weren’t the only witnesses to this event.

_\---_

The weekend rolls around fairly quickly in between school tests and assignments, and the team was all in high spirits when they made their way over to your café, grateful for the celebration and small time granted to them to unwind for the week. Brian, in particular, was excited to see you again, after his last text to you roughly three hours ago. (The conversation ended because you had to busy yourself in the kitchen, making food enough to feed a hungry group of boys.)

The food prepared was all laid out on the table the moment the team came in, your aunt welcoming them on your behalf. You pop your head out to say a small greeting to the team and coach before heading back into the kitchen to prepare dessert, knowing that the boys will be in good hands with Esther and Jae around.

True enough, the duo got the party started at full force, switching between karaoke and games effortlessly in between food breaks. You glance out from time to time, observing the party outside through the small glass panel on the kitchen door. Focusing on swirling the chocolate again, you only looked up when you heard the sound of the kitchen door swing open, loud pop sounds filling the quiet space for a moment before the door swings shut again, muffling the sounds from outside.

Brian Kang makes his way over to you, standing to watch you with his hips against the counter.

“Younghyun, what are you doing here? You should be outside enjoying the party; I think Esther and Jae are doing a great job hosting the party.”

“Is there anything I can help with? I feel bad leaving to do everything alone.”

“Your sling might be off, but you’re still recovering. It’s not a good idea to have you do anything.”

“Oh come on! I can play basketball now, surely I can help with cooking.”

You contemplate for a short while, wanting to reject Brian’s offer to help. However, it looks like he won’t leave until he gets his hands dirty – so you eventually concede.

“Well, I could use an extra pair of hands, but do you know how to cook?”

You raise your eyebrows at him as a challenge, doubting that he would have the time to experiment with cooking in between school and intense training sessions. But as always, Brian Kang is full of surprises.

“Of course, what do you need me to do?”

“Oh~ alright then you can help me prepare the whipped frosting by first beating the eggs. Just the egg white though, no egg yolks.”

“Gotcha.”

Quickly washing his hands, you watch as he walks around the kitchen like a natural, finding all the utensils he needed with ease.

Both of you fall into an easy conversation as you worked on the dessert together, and you watch as he eats well whilst preparing the food, stealing a chocolate chip or two from your open bag whenever he walked past you. You chuckle at the sight, glad that he is eating so well.

“You know, Mum and Dad would have loved to meet you.”

“Why?”

“You love food as much as they do. They would have fed you well if they saw you here today.”

“Really? Speaking of which, I haven’t seen your parents yet. Are they out of town today?”

Your hands stilled upon hearing the mention of your parents, panic flashing through your eyes momentarily. You swallow nervously, hoping that Brian would not have caught on. Steadying your voice, you said your next words slowly,

“Yea, they’re out of town today.”

Wanting to turn the conversation away from this dangerous topic, you glanced around for anything that you could possibly talk about, before you spotted the scene outside and deciding that it would be something safe to talk about.

“This is really nice; it’s been so long since my aunt and I had so much fun.”

“What do you mean?”

You shake your head at his response, not expecting him to question you about your current situation; you were hoping that he would have responded by confirming your statement, seeing as he’s also one of those that didn’t get much time to himself in between student duties and basketball trainings. But now that he’s got the ball rolling, you didn’t find the need to lie to him about your current situation.

“Oh, the usual. Bills to pay, and we’re hardly keeping up with the rent. We almost got evicted and if someone wants to buy over this place, we’re doomed. We’re barely keeping this place alive but…”

You trail off, wondering if you should add in the last part to complete what you wanted to say.

“But…?”

“But we keep going. We keep trying our best.”

You turn to meet his eyes that were already trained on you this entire time, flashing him a smile. It was one that said – _It’s ok. I’m ok. You don’t have to be so worried for me if you are._

Brian’s heart clenches at your words, wondering about how tough it must have been for you to hold on, and how much more about yourself that you’re holding in but not revealing. Your eyes seem to harbour more unspoken stories, but he will not pry until you’re ready to tell him. But he does wish that he has the ability to take your burdens as his own; he wants to do something – _anything_ – to help lessen the weight on your shoulders.

Yet when you show him that pretty smile of yours, his heart lightens a little, and he’s able to find the strength within him to mirror your smile, knowing that you’re still hanging on just fine with your unwavering conviction and spirit. He finds _one more_ reason to love you more than he did just the day before – even though he was still blissfully unaware of the fact that this was love that he was feeling.

You’re the first to break away from the sweet moment both of you shared, suddenly remembering the ravenous group of people outside that you’re supposed to serve.

“Let’s go feed them dessert now, they’re probably still hungry despite polishing off the main course.”

You’re the first to push through the heavy doors, the sight of you with a tray full of chocolate cake in your hands a very welcomed sight. The team thanks you with cheers and hoots of appreciation, relieving you of your tray-carrying duties fairly quickly, before decimating the cake and devouring it in seconds. Brian watches this entire scene from his spot behind you, fighting back a small smile when he sees how much you’ve managed to gain the approval of everyone – even usually strict Coach Nickhun is looking upon this heart-warming sight with happiness.

From the corner window, a black figure watches the sickeningly sweet moment unfold, eagerly waiting for the time to come – to rip this happiness to shreds.


	12. Bruised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Swearing, violence, mentions of blood

The party comes to an end when the last body slumps against the couch, the high note from the karaoke system fading out into the quiet night. The video playing on the television becomes still as the song ends, the quiet hum of the static from the speakers and the rhythmic snores of the members now the only sounds filling the space. Occasionally the chirp of the crickets from outside would travel through the quiet night to reach your ears – but other than that, everything else is peaceful.

You turn around when you hear the bathroom door close behind you, and you’re met by Brian’s obsidian black orbs, a grin making its way onto his face when he observes his surroundings.

“Everyone’s passed out?”

“Yea.”

His eyes continue scanning the entire area, his eyes widening further when he spots Sungjin’s sleeping figure slumped against the couch, cheeks pressed against the cushion under his head, the microphone still enclosed within his vice grip.

“Woah even Sungjin hyung? We really went wild today.”

“Thank God you’re still sober, else I might start sobbing having to clean up this huge mess by myself.”

Brian chuckles at your words, the sudden image of you running around the whole place cleaning up with a very flustered look on your face suddenly becoming very amusing to him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you some help.”

You watch as he tiptoes around his sleeping teammates, rousing those that look more sober. Eventually, you’ve got bleary-eyed Wonpil and Dowoon up to help you pick up empty beer cans and wash dirty dishes in the kitchen while you and Brian got the remaining boys settled into taxis to send them home to properly rest for the night. After all the furniture has been put back in place and the last table had been wiped down, you pushed Wonpil and Dowoon into the backseat of the fourth taxi that you had called for the night. The two younger males immediately knocked out the moment their heads hit the neck rest, the alcohol and fatigue from cleaning that drags them off to sleep being too hard to resist. Brian attempted to step out after positioning them in a more comfortable position, only to have you shove him into the car as well, slamming the door after him. Rolling down the windows the very next second, Brian sticks his head out of the window, questioning you.

“We’re not – ”

“It’s almost done Brian; all I have to do is take out the trash. You should go home and rest too.”

“You sure you going to be alright?”

You nod your head vigorously to show him that you’re serious, hoping that he’ll be assured that you’re going to be fine doing just this last bit yourself. His drooping eyelids and tired smile betrayed his determination, and he ultimately gave in, settling back against the leather seats as he lazily waved goodbye to you. You watched until the vehicle was out of your sight before turning back into the kitchen to bag the trash.

\---

Heaving the huge black trash bag out of the trash can, you pushed the door open with your shoulder as you struggled to lift the black bag off the ground. You’re hit in the face by the cool night wind, causing your hair to sweep around your face in waves. Between attempting to get your hair out of your face and lugging a heavy trash bag behind, it takes you a great deal of effort (and maybe a few bumps against the wall) to finally get to the huge trash bin. Swinging your arm forward, you manage to position the trash bag right beside the bin, heaving a sigh of relief when the bag did not burst open to spill forth the filthy contents.

_All done! I can finally rest now._

Turning around, you caught sight of a black figure flashing past your line of vision. The sudden movement startles you, and you let a strangled cry tear from your throat – only for the sound to be cut off halfway when strong fingers close around your neck. Your assailant pushes you backwards in one swift movement, slamming your body against the wall behind. Your whole body turns numb from the force rattling your insides, but pain soon begins to set in, causing you to suck in a harsh breath. The back of your head pounds with such intensity that it makes your vision swim, the splotches of white in your vision making it hard for you to make out the assailant. The back of your hand slowly turns numb, your fingers twitching slightly – you figure it must be a really bad bruise. Fear settling deep within your bones, you did what you could to try to get your assailant off yourself. You claw at the hand holding onto your throat, but that only gives the assailant more incentive to dig his fingers into your neck, their nails almost breaking into the delicate skin of your neck. You were starting to feel lightheaded from the lack of oxygen to your brain, your movements slowly becoming weaker and less threatening.

“Wh-Wh-Wh-What…do…”

“Shut up Rachel, or I might just crush your throat.”

You jolt at the voice – because you recognise it – and the assailant finally steps in the light, revealing his face as craze-filled eyes locked onto your frightened ones.

_Im Jaebum – why is he here?_

Red veins stretch from his whites towards his irises, his lips curled backwards to bare his teeth, giving him a menacing look similar to that of a lunatic. He spits his next words at you, venom dripping from his tone as he barely contains his wrath.

“Hello Rachel, so good to see you again.”

Jaebum smiles, but there is no warmth in it.

His grip on your neck loosens slightly as he thinks of his next words.

“Are you having fun, hmm? Playing lovers with the famous Brian Kang. It must feel good, taunting me in front of everyone. You think it’s funny Rachel, you think its fun getting me all riled up. Guess what? I don’t fucking care Rachel. _Not.one.fucking.bit._ ”

By now, his grip loosens enough to let you speak, and you shoot a retort back (which on hindsight was probably a bad move given your situation) Yet you couldn’t help yourself, and the words are already out of your mouth before you could find the self-restraint to filter them.

“Oh yea, Jaebum? You don’t care huh? If you truly don’t, then why do you have me cornered? You are taking out your anger on me under the cover of the dark night, where no one can see what a _coward_ you are.”

Jaebum turns his head to the side, scoffing at your words. The truth you have spoken slices through his fragile pride; the intense rage sets his whole body ablaze, and Jaebum does not hold back anymore. His fingers dig into your neck again, this time harsher than the last. Tears threatened to seep from your eyes, the pain now too much for you to bear.

“Rachel Hwang, I’m going to make you _regret_ , having ever said those words to me.”

From the corner of your eye, you see him rise a hand and you could only watch in horror as the hand descends on you swiftly. You wait for the impact to send your head flying to the other side; to hear the sharp crack of hand against bone ring through the still night.

Yet, there was _nothing_.

The pressure around your throat is suddenly released, but before you can collapse onto the floor, a hand comes up to hoist you up by your waist as you cough violently.

Looking up from bent position as your chest heaved to get more oxygen in your system, you’re met with a very board back that you recognise so well. You’re now staring at a extremely livid Brian Kang blocking you from Jaebum as he continues to stare at Jaebum, keeping him in place with his eyes. His fury radiates off him in waves, the entire atmosphere becoming ten times more deadly. He looked like he was ready to obliterate anyone that dared to cross his path, his eyes speaking of a showdown that will leave no mercy for his opponent. When he speaks, his usually cheerful voice is now dangerously low, the slight tremors in his voice giving away his barely contained anger.

“ _Fuck off_ Jaebum, and keep your hands off her.”

Chuckling darkly, Jaebum hoists himself up from the floor, swatting the dirt off his palms and his pants. The corners of his lips lift to form a sinister smirk as he lets out a groan of annoyance. When he turns to face Brian, the smirk vanishes from his face, his lips now curling into a snarl, his eyes turning dark as he fixes his cold gaze on Brian.

_“You really pick the wrong fights Brian Kang.”_

Swinging his arm back in an arc, Jaebum smashes his fist down on Brian’s still bruised face, using the entire weight of his body to give him more force. The impact leaves Brian momentarily dazed, which gives Jaebum enough time to exercise this advantage. Hooking Brian’s arm, Jaebum swings him around before flinging him against the wall. You hear the familiar crack of a bone, and you’re not sure if it’s Brian shoulder or Jaebum’s ribcage after Brian just sent him flying in the opposite direction with a kick. You rush to put yourself between the two boys before one of them ends up killing the other.

“STOP! Both of you – ”

“Rachel? What’s going on?”

All three of you freeze on your spots, your blood turning cold immediately to match the same frosty voice that calls your name. Hearing that voice never meant good news, especially not in such a situation. Gingerly, you lift your eyes – then your head – to meet the eyes of the person standing just a few feet away from you.

Your frightened eyes find those of Mr Kim’s pretty easily, and you have to force yourself to steady your voice and dim the fear in your eyes before responding to him.

“Mr Kim, what brings you here at such a late hour?”

_Please tell me he didn’t see anything – he cannot see anything. If he did, **they’re dead**. With his power as discipline master, he’ll bring them both to the school board for disciplinary action, and no doubt for a man like him, to the police station as well. _

Mr Kim raises an eyebrow at your response, finding it odd that you’re dodging his question. Eyes travelling to your left and right, he finally spots Jaebum and Brian – both of whom are also doing their best to stand upright, pretending that nothing happened.

“Jaebum, Brian, are both of you alright?”

You watch as his eyes zero in on the small trail of blood seeping down the side of Jaebum’s mouth, but before he can take a step closer to inspect, Jaebum takes a step backwards, turning his face away from his scrutinising eyes.

“Everything’s fine Mr Kim. I was just… visiting some _friends_. I’ll get going now, have a good evening Mr Kim.”

He gestures to both of you with a single hand raised weakly in the direction of the both of you, his body rejecting his attempts to be friendly towards the both of you. Once he’s done, Jaebum dashes away down the dark alley and into darkness before he gets questioned further. You mentally thank Mr Kim’s appearance for saving the day, but when he speaks again, you snap back to reality. Your worries are not over yet – in fact – the biggest one was yet to be dealt with.

“And Brian?”

You turn to look at him, and the grimace on his face makes it hard for you to believe that he can answer without blowing the cover. So, when he opens his mouth to respond, you rush to answer on his belief, stepping closer to shield more of his body from Mr Kim’s prying eyes.

“He’s fine Mr Kim, we’ll get going now, if that’s alright with you. Thank you for your concern, and have a good evening Mr Kim. We’ll see you in school on Monday again!”

Holding onto his elbow, you lead Brian through the kitchen’s back door, shutting the door tightly behind you. You keep an eye on Mr Kim until he walks away from the scene before turning your attention to Brian. His eyes are squeezed shut as his head rests against the wall, his lower lips pulled between his teeth to stop him from wincing in pain. You sigh at the sight, closing your eyelids slowly before opening them again.

_It’s going to be a long night._


	13. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of blood

 

“Brian? Can you tell me where you’re hurt?”

You wanted to stretch out a hand to rouse the boy, but you quickly retracted your hand, not wanting to aggravate his wounds any further. Thankfully, Brian hears you, and very slowly, he lifts a hand and taps the index finger against his shoulder. Your hands then fly to the hem of his shirt and carefully, you shed him of his black tee. Brian raises his arms with no qualms – he’s comfortable enough with you to let you do it without resisting. With his shirt now gone, you can see the angry red spreading over his shoulder like just the previous time, the wound looking tender. Eyes moving upwards, you spot the fresh cut that Jaebum gave him – one horizontal slit right across his cheekbone. The area around the wound has already started to swell a little, a small trail of blood travelling down his cheek as the remaining blood slowly starts to dry to form a protective scab over the wound. You do a quick scan of the rest of his body, letting out a small breath when you find nothing else amiss.

“Wait here, I’ll be back really quick.”

Fingers moving fast, you make a makeshift ice pack by filling a plastic bag with ice, before grabbing the first aid kit from the shelf above you before you return to his side.

“Slowly…”

Gently, you push Brian back till his back was resting against the cool tiles of the wall behind him before you position the ice pack on his shoulder. You set to work on his face, dabbing the cloth softly against his skin to remove traces of the red liquid. He sucks in a harsh breath when you apply the ointment over his wound despite your feather-like touch, and you softly mumble out a quick apology. With nimble hands, you tear open the packaging of the plaster, only realising that you’ve accidentally chosen one with fox prints on it. You mentally apologise to him in your mind, hoping that he wouldn’t mind the childish plaster when he finally sees it. Taking his face in your hands, you softly cradle his face as you smoothed the plaster over the cut with the pads of your thumbs. The slight pressure on his face is soothing and Brian gradually relaxes into your touch.

His ragged breaths become steady, shallow breaths; a frown no longer etched on his face. He slowly relaxes his facial muscles, his eye brows finally unfurrowing as he releases his lips from his teeth. You can feel his hot breath fan over your fingers that are still on his face, the skin of your hand just resting lightly on his upper lip – and you make the mistake of letting your thoughts wander. You’re now hyperaware of how close you are to him and unconsciously, you continue mindlessly smoothing the bandage over his face, even though you were long done with it. You allow your eyes to wander across the plane of his face, slowly take your time to admire his expression of peace. His eyelashes rest lightly against his skin, the long lashes casting mesmerising shadows across his face. Travelling down the perfect, sharp slope of his nose bridge, your eyes come to rest on his pouty lips. The skin is peeling where he bit down too hard just now, the pinks and reds of his lips akin to a blooming rose. Like those beautiful flowers, you decide that they were better to be admired, and left untouched. Your eyes travel back up his face, and you take your time to admire every imperfection on his skin – marks left from old acne wounds, slightly darker patches of dried skin from the long hours spent under the sun. Every bit of him seemed beautiful and had you known earlier; you would have spent more time admiring him whenever you could, choosing to focus on the details instead.

When you finally reach his eyes again, you stopped breathing for a moment – for he had caught you red-handed. His eyes were now opened to slits, and you had looked directly into his obsidian black eyes. His gaze had a hypnotic pull, and whilst you’re embarrassed that you got caught, you just can’t seem to tear your gaze away from him. He blinks once, and it breaks the spell. You blink rapidly after him, shaking your head slightly to come back to reality. That’s when the embarrassment fully sets in, and your entire face bursts into flames right down to the tip of your ears. The space between both of you suddenly becomes too small and hot, and you act fast to move away. Your nervousness shows, and in your haste, your fingers fumble with the latch of the first aid kit, mentally cursing the stupid thing that wouldn’t close.

Brian’s eyes follow your movement, and that’s when he spots the massive bruise forming at the back of your hand.

“Stop.”

Slipping his hand between the box and your hands, his thick fingers clasp around yours gently, halting your actions. He pulls you towards him, placing your injured hand gently on his thigh. Reaching up, he removes the ice pack from his shoulder, reaching forward to place against your neck. The sudden sensation of coolness tickles you a little, but you soon relax when you feel the cold soothe the angry swelling on your neck.

“Stay still, and tell me if it hurts.”

Your attention snaps back to Brian, whom is now sitting upright in front of you. He’s now gently rubbing his thumbs against the bruise on your hand, the cooling gel and his rubs alleviating the pain of your painful bruise. In such a position, you get another chance to quietly admire the man in front of you, liking how his hair is hanging down his head today instead of being styled up like it is on school days. The new look makes him look slightly younger and softer around the edges. You are struck by the sudden, overwhelming urge to run your fingers through his hair and you might have just done so, if not for the fact that he’s holding onto it. With each passing second, the pulsing pain eases down to dull, throbbing pain and this time round, it is your turn to be lulled into a state of bliss, your eyelids threatening to flutter shut. After some time, Brian deems you to be alright, his hands stop in their ministrations and consequently, you regain your senses to come back to reality. What happens next leaves you more flustered than before, yet just like before, you can’t bring yourself to pull away.

Bringing your hand to his lips, Brian presses a soft kiss to your knuckles and stays there. He doesn’t move his lips away, letting his lips press against the thin skin of your knuckles, warmth slowly spreading from his lips to your hand. The peeling skin prickles your skin but it’s not uncomfortable, just slightly ticklish. You follow his movements as he slowly lifts his head to meet your eyes and you blush even harder, if that was even humanely possible. The first thought that comes to his mind was how adorable you looked with your pink, flushed cheeks, but it’s your eyes that has him entranced. It’s almost like you’re begging him to come closer – and something snaps within Brian. The next thing you know, you’re pressed up between the wall behind and his body in front of you, your faces just centimetres away from one another. If you even do so much as to exhale, your lips might just brush against his. Your heart is hammering away in your chest, and the rapid beating of your heart sends shockwaves through your chest. It seems like you’re the only one getting unnecessarily nervous, because the man in front of you looks unfazed, his composure calm and collected. His eyes travel from yours to your lips, before coming back to your eyes.

With a voice as soft as an angel’s feather, he asks,

“May I…?”

He doesn’t have to finish his sentence for you to figure out what he’s asking, and you cut him off by nodding your head – maybe a little too eagerly. And the moment his lips descend against yours, you seem to lose all control of yourself, even the simple things such as remembering to breath.

His kiss is searing, the memory of his plush lips moving against yours forever branded in your mind from that moment onwards. He presses his lips onto yours, hoping to be able to feel you more. Even though there is practically zero space left between the two of you, the distance still feels too much for him – he _needs_ to have you closer. Shifting himself forward, your chests are now practically pressed against one another, and you can feel the tremors coming from his chest when he moans slightly into the kiss. His hands have long let go of yours, and they’re now on both sides of your jaw. He runs his thumbs across your cheeks – feeling the little bumps under his skin; remnants of old acne scars. He thinks they’re beautiful though – it’s the little things that makes you so uniquely you. He’s careful not to hurt you with your neck wounds still tender and fresh, and he carefully angles his head to have better access to your lips. His lips continue to knead your own without stopping, occasionally nipping and tugging at your bottom lip.

You, on the other hand, return the favour with the same amount of pressure. Your hands latch onto the back of his neck to pull him down closer but with the way that his lips are dancing against yours, it sparks something more primal within you, and your hands are moving upwards to thread through his hair. You tug on the hair at the nape of his neck slightly when he nips your lips, and that elicits a growl from him that makes you weak. You tip your head upwards, hoping to meet his superior height midway. Your noses are pressed into each other’s cheeks, both of you practically breathing in one another’s breath now.

Everything feels so real in this moment – maybe both of you were really in love with one another – yet the magic disappears soon after when he breaks the kiss by forcefully tearing his lips away. Both your chests are heaving from the sudden kiss, and he’s slightly trembling, almost like he’s holding something within him back. Brian can barely restrain himself – all he wants to do is kiss you again, and again, and again, until he has you memorised in his mind as he paints a mental image of you using his lips – but he has to remind himself that the relationship between the both of you is purely business.

Maybe he loves you – maybe he doesn’t. He really isn’t sure – but maybe he’s just too afraid to admit the truth. Then there remains the question of your feelings towards him – to which he has no answer for; not even a silver of inkling in his mind. Loving you was too much of a risk to take and defies every rule in this game.

When he finally steadies his breath enough to speak, he sounds nonchalant, like nothing had just happened between the both of you.

“I should get going now.”

He doesn’t stick around to wait for your answer; simply turns around to grab his shirt before throwing it on as he bursts through the doors into the night. He leaves you there all alone as you try to hold together your cracked heart to prevent it from fully breaking apart.


	14. What are we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mild cursing

_It’s been… what… maybe about 2 weeks since the kiss._

_But I’m still thinking about it on a daily basis._

_Fuck._

You stab the tip of your pen through the paper with a loud thud, causing the entire table to jolt up. From his spot right in front of you, Sungjin got a clear view of your face, and jumped back further in shock when he saw your stoic facial expression, your murderous gaze focused straight on the wall right behind him. Esther craned her neck out further to look at you carefully before questioning you.

“Ya Rachel, what’s up with you? You haven’t been yourself since the night of the party. Did you… argue with Brian?”

Only when she mentioned his name was Esther finally able to get a response from you, your eyes growing wide as your pupils shook slightly, unwanted flashbacks from the searing kiss invading your mind. Your pen wobbled in your hand as your eyes darted to the 5 pairs of eyes around the table, all looking at you expectedly in anticipation of your answer.

“Aish what are you talking about? Nothing happened, w-w-we – ”

You struggled to get the words out, ultimately giving up instead.

“I’m going outside to get some fresh air; it’s so suffocating here…”

Standing up from your seat quickly, you scurried out of the quiet library in a hurry, hoping to escape the scene before your face burning red gave you away.

\---

Once you were out in the stairwell, you stomped your feet on the ground in frustration, ruffling your hair so much that your scalp hurt. You were irritated at yourself for constantly thinking about the kiss even when you should have put it behind you in favour of focusing on your studies but, there was a more pressing issue on hand now – what does that kiss mean for the relationship between the two of you?

_The kiss should never have happened. Now the lines between our agreement has blurred – what is real and what is not? He kisses me with so much eagerness… but then… he leaves later like nothing ever happened? Am I the only one that is so affected by this kiss? Does he feel nothing at all? What’s going on between the both of us now?_

_What are we?_

You spin around to face the stairwell once you were done thinking – only to be met by the last person that you want to see right now:

Brian Kang

He halts mid-step, standing still on his spot between the fourth and fifth step as he slowly tilts his head upwards to look at you, his eyes staring right into yours. He was calm looking right back at you, yet you were everything but that. Groaning out loud, you roll your eyes as you turn your back to him, swearing under your breath.

_Why did I have to meet him here? I was doing a good job not having to see him for the past two weeks due to his medical appointments, but yet I have to meet him here – of all places – when I least want to. Me and my terrible luck… I should leave._

You swivel on your heels, heading quickly for the next flight of stairs above you. Surprised that you didn’t acknowledge him; as though he was invisible, Brian jumped up two steps at a time, reaching you in no time. Stretching a hand out, he clasped onto your wrist firmly, fingers tightening around them. Slightly panting for the sudden exertion, you wait as he takes his time to catch his breath before he asked the dreaded question.

“Rachel, can we talk?”

Your answer was swift and cold.

“No.”

You turn to walk away, but his grip on your wrist tightens, keeping you at your spot.

“Please. Just give me 5 minutes of your time.”

Turning around slowly, your eyes dart between his hands on your wrist and his pleading eyes, feeling your resolve slowly melt away. You taste the regret on your tongue before the words are out of your mouth – feel your heart betraying your mind – but you say the words anyway.  

“Ok.”

\---

You stomp off to stand in the middle of the rooftop, folding your arms in front of your chest as you waited for Brian, making it very clear that you didn’t quite want to be in his presence for very long. You reason with yourself; that you’re acting this angry because he left you hanging that night without any explanation but deep down, you knew the real motivation for your action was fear.

Fear that if you were left alone with him again, you might lose all self-control like you did back then and…

You close your eyes and shake the thoughts out of your head, not wanting to think further.

Closing the door to the rooftop behind him silently, Brian watches your back from afar, racking his brain for what he could do to possibly appease you. But all this wondering was too much thinking for Brian Kang, and he decides that it would be best to just be straightforward instead.

Your heart rate increases with each step that he takes closer towards you, and he stops 2 feet away from you, afraid that you might push him away if he got too close.

“What do you want Brian Kang?”

The usage of his full name stings more than it should, the impact hitting him like a punch in the gut.

“I was wondering if you’d be willing to accompany me to my cousin’s wedding dinner this weekend.”

_There. I said it._

You swivel around so quickly that he’s shocked by your speed, the murderous look on your face scaring him into further explaining himself, hoping that it might do something to appease you.

“Please Rachel! Before you say anything, hear me out.”

He puts up both hands in front of him, an indication of his surrender to you.

“My parents and grandparents have been pestering me to bring you along, saying that they want to see you.”

“And how did they know of my existence in the first place?”

You narrow your eyes at him, already catching on to the loophole in his story. Brian’s eyes widen slightly – but other than that, his face shows a state of calm. He can’t let anything give himself away now. If he wants you to believe him and come along without anymore questions, he has to be convincing – and to do so – he must choose his next words carefully.

“It was an accident. The boys came over to my house, and Wonpil blurted it out on mistake, making it known that I have a girlfriend. Then well… the rest is history.”

He shuts his mouth immediately after; the less he talks, the less mistakes he’ll make, the less likely you were to suspect him. You continue keeping an eye on Brian, finding it hard to believe his story.

_But then again… it’s Wonpil. He does have a tendency of saying whatever’s on his mind without much filtering. Such a thing could happen… right?_

From his spot, Brain watches as the gears in your mind turn, getting more and more hopeful with each second as he notices how your facial muscles begin to relax, the scowl on your face now less menacing.

Egging you on further, he adds on to his previous statement.

“I meant to ask you that night, but Jaebum got in the way.”

But that was a wrong move on Brian’s part, because mentioning that night just brought back more flashbacks of the kiss that made you upset once again. You got defensive, lashing out at Brian.

“We aren’t supposed to get involved in each other’s personal lives. So, no.”

“Please,” he pleads, “Just this once.”

Your heart softens as you look into his eyes, the lights within them dimming instantly when you rejected him. You’ve never seen Brian looking so dejected before, and you’re finding it hard to ignore the sting in your heart, knowing that he’ll be better if you just said yes.

_Why are you like this Rachel Hwang… why can’t you just say no to him…_

You engage in an internal battle with yourself for a few minutes, but with each passing second, the answer was clear to you.

_Just once wouldn’t hurt… right?_

You sigh in resignation, knowing what you’re going to do next.

“Fine. But just this once.”

The change in Brian Kang was instant – his eyes immediately shined with their previous radiance; his face practically glowing as he beamed at you.

“Thank you, Rachel.”

You grunt in response, not wanting to seem to eager but Brian remains unfazed. It doesn’t matter how you respond, so long as you made it clear that you’ll come, which you did. Everything looked like a rosy picture, until you realise the grave mistake behind your actions.

**Brian Kang breaks the second rule: Don’t get involved in one another personal lives.**

\---

Wonpil’s phone beep in his pocket, and he fishes it out to check the notification.

**_Kang Bra Hyung_ **

**_If Rachel asks you if you really did tell my family about our relationship, say that you did._ **


	15. Lucky one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist: DAY6 - Man in a movie

 

“Wait, just one moment.”

“What is it again!”

Your aunt sighs in exasperation as you run back up the stairs to your bedroom for the third time in the past 5 minutes, wondering why you’re still not satisfied with your appearance. Sticking your face close to the mirror, you dab a little bit more of the pink lipstick off your lips, finally backing away when you found yourself looking acceptable. With the pink lipstick looking less vibrant now, you breathed a sigh of relief, hoping that your little effort to tone down your makeup was actually working. You wanted to look good, but you didn’t want to overdo it either.

“Are you finally happy with your look now?”

You can see your aunt folding her arms across her chest in the mirror, her lips set in a thin line as you turn to smile sheepishly at her.

“Yes, I think I’m finally presentable now.”

“What nonsense, you’re more than presentable Rachel. You look absolutely stunning tonight.”

“Oh, please don’t say that! You’re only going to give me more jitters!”

“You know that I’m right. Besides, Brian will like you even if you’re wearing a trash bag; I’ve seen the way the boy looks at you. He’s absolutely in love with you.”

Your heart stops for a moment as you process your aunt’s words, your heart breaking a little when you doubt her words.

_It’ll be great if he does… but he doesn’t._

Too lost in your own thoughts, you absentmindedly followed your aunt as she guided you by the elbow to the door, giving you a once over before leaving you with some advice that floats over your head.

“Come home safely, and don’t drink too much. If Brian drinks, don’t let him drive.”

“Uh…”

The door to your house is then flung open and you watch as Brian waves to your aunt in greeting.

“Bring her home safe! And don’t drive if you drink!”

“Got it!”

Brian flashes your aunt a thumbs up as he grins at her, but the smile fades after you hear the door shut behind you with a soft thud, the look on his face now one of wonderment. The two of you stand in silence for a few moments, taking time to admire one another.

His hair is done differently today – his slightly longer hair slicked back to reveal his handsome forehead. His crisp navy-blue suit adds an air of youthfulness around him, making him look suave. The sleeves are rolled up till the point just below his elbows, exposing the forearm and hands that were used to protect you.

You had matched him today – upon his request – with a navy-blue dress. It was one with your favourite halter neck, the bodice of the dress covered in sweet lace details. The skirt that ended just above your knees billowed around you slightly as a gentle breeze passed by, causing your hair, worn down today, to flutter around your face.

Both of you simply stand in your spots, wishing for time to stop so that you had all the time in the world to marvel at one another’s beauty. Yet the sun was setting in the horizon, signalling that the wedding will start soon, and that both of you should really get going.

Stepping off the steps of your front porch, and him off the pavement, both of you walked till you met one another right in the middle. You stood there unmoving for a short while, peeping up at Younghyun nervously from beneath your lashes. He remained the same as he was a few seconds ago, still carrying the same look of amazement on his face, his lips parted slightly in astonishment. Extremely self-conscious now under his focused gaze, you tugged your dress lower, hoping to cover more skin and you looked past his shoulders; at the horizon, at the clouds – refusing to look anywhere but him.

With a timid voice, you ask,

“W- W- Why are you looking at me like that? Does it look bad?”

“No! No, it doesn’t look bad at all!”

Startled by his huge response, you turn your head to look at the previously stoic boy, surprised to find him instead with eyes blown wide, a look of seriousness on his face as he waved his hands fervently, trying to convince you that you looked good. In fact – to him – you were more than good. You were absolutely breath-taking – maybe even perfect.

After a few moments of frantic gesturing, he then falls silent again as his hands still, mouth slightly agape as he continues to admire you. His eyes slowly scan over the details of your dress, right down to the silver straps of your high heels. You continue observing him as he slowly takes in the exquisite sight in front of him; his gaze on you not at all predatory, love shining out of his twinkling eyes instead.

The sight in front of you makes your heart throws all caution out of the window and for tonight, you just go where it feels right.

Brian is still beaming at you when his eyes finally find their way back to your face, the shy curve of your lips making him smile. In his mind, he has a grand speech all planned out; he wants to talk about how the navy of the dress brings out the colours of your eyes, or how your loosely worn hair is such a drastic yet nice change from your usual neat hairdo in school. He'll even talk about the perfectly timed moments; about how the soft orange glow from dusk shines upon the planes of your face perfectly, making your usually sharp eyes look gentler now. If he could, he would go on and on about how wonderful you look – yet – you render him speechless and this, is all he manages.

He whispers his next words softly, so softly that you would not have heard it, if not for the gentle breeze carrying them to your ears.

"Wow. You look beautiful Rachel. Really."

You could no longer contain your laughter, throwing your head back to let it out freely as your teeth show in a radiant smile. Brian captures this moment like a snapshot in his mind – the first time that you’re so carefree around him – and stores it safely in his memory forever. When you finally come back up to face him, he spots the stray strand of hair that has escape from your hairdo due to your actions just now. He instinctively reaches out to tuck it behind your ear as the other hand gently clasps around your fingers to pull you closer.

His adoring eyes never left yours as he does so, the rough pads of his fingers resting against your jaw as he continues to repeat the words to himself, his physical body unable to contain his feelings towards you anymore.

“You’re so beautiful… so, _so_ beautiful…”

“I know that Younghyun, you’ve said that three times already.”

He snaps out of his trance when he hears your voice, his snarky self coming back to make a cheeky remark.

“Have I? I must have been so mesmerised by your beauty that I didn’t even realise it.”

You smack the back of his hand lightly for being too cheesy, scrunching up your nose as you did so. You were supposed to look angry, but Younghyun found your actions absolutely delightful, now beaming brighter than before.

“Kang Younghyun, what are you smiling at? We’re going to be late; we should leave now.”

“Your wish is my command, my dearest.”

Your eyes grow wide at his flirtatious nickname for you, and Younghyun lets out a hearty laughter at your scandalised expression; one that comes from a place deep within his chest, rumbling with happiness. Teasing you will always be worth it if it meant that he got to see your cute, flustered self.

He turns behind to open the passenger car seat, and you gladly enter, using the precious few seconds he took to round the car and assume his seat beside you to frantically fan your face, willing the blush creeping onto your face to go down instead. But a quick glance into the side mirror reveals a face flushed red; your body reacts to him on its own now, and you have absolutely no control over it anymore. From his spot beside you, Younghyun lets out a small chuckle but quickly starts the car when you turn to glare at him, clearing his throat loudly to ease the tension.

Halfway through the drive there, he lets a hand slip from the steering wheel to reach for yours. He almost does so successfully, until…

“Both hands on the steering wheel Kang Younghyun.”

“Yes ma’am.”

\---

The wedding was going on in full force by the time both of you arrive – you could easily spot waiters and waitresses donning their chic black and white uniforms darting through the colourful sea of people, trying their best not to step on the expensive dresses and shoes as they balance flutes of wine on their tray. Your heart palpitates at the inevitable future; having unknown faces staring back at you as you get whisked around to repeat your introduction, perhaps even being forced to make small talk – which sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Brian senses your apprehension, and he’s immediately by your side, fingers gently slipping through yours before giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m very bad with meeting new people.”

“Don’t worry, I promise to not leave your side. And anytime you want, we can just leave the venue for a while.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you sweetheart. Let’s go?”

You nod – and that’s how you found yourself walking into the wedding reception hand in hand with Kang Younghyun – breathing in a deep breath to steel yourself for the onslaught of questions ahead.

\---

Younghyun keeps true to his words, and never once leaves your side. He’s always physically reminding you that he’s always there – sometimes it’s a reassuring squeeze of your hand, or his fingers rubbing lazy circles onto your clothed hip, and at other times, his thumb stroking straight lines along your waist. You’re grateful for his support; the slow, almost imperceptible touches helping to soothe your previously frayed nerves. With time, you get much more comfortable talking to his family, although the compliments still catch you off guard. You’re receiving it from everyone – the little ones hug your legs as they babble about how pretty you are through gummy smiles, the elders clasping onto both your hands, complimenting your look as a couple and your kind manners. Younghyun is also getting many claps on the shoulder from his relatives, many telling him that he’s lucky to have you as a girlfriend.

Yet, he thinks – _I’m the lucky one here._

By the time you make one round around the entire lobby, your face is hurting from smiling too much, your hands sore from all the squeezing by his relatives. You’re all ready to take a seat on the plush velvet couch at the quiet corner of the room, but Younghyun has other plans.

“I know you’re tired Rachel, but just one last person; the most important one.”

You give him a smile of reassurance as you nod your head, and Younghyun breathes a sigh of relief as he leads the way through the crowd to finally reach the person sitting right at the back of the room. When she turns to look at you, the resemblance to Younghyun is striking, especially the eyes. She had got the same fox-like eyes, sharp at first but immediately melting into gentle crescents when she smiles at you to beckon you forwards.

You turn to Younghyun – asking the silent question – _who is she?_

He merely smiles at you, before turning his attention back to the lady in front of him.

“Grandma, this is Rachel, the one you’ve been asking about for so long.”

You immediately bow your head when you hear her salutation, realising that you’re now talking to one of the heads of the household. Brian pushes you forward slightly as she reaches her hand out towards you, and you naturally extend your hand to meet hers. Her palms are warm, and you feel the coarseness of her skin when she rubs her palm across the back of your hand, a lasting reminder of decades of hard work before you were even born.

“Rachel my dear! It is so good to finally see you! How have you been? Has our Younghyun been good to you?”

“I’m doing great and Younghyun has been excellent so far… Grandma.”

Addressing her as grandma sounded very foreign on your tongue, yet Younghyun’s grandmother seems to be loving it. The creases on her face deepen as her smile grows upon hearing you address her so affectionately, and her smile is mirrored by Younghyun’s – not that you can see it, with him standing behind you as he keeps one hand on your waist.

“Come Rachel, sit beside me and tell me more about yourself. If Younghyun has been mistreating you, you can tattle on him now, and I’ll make sure to give him a good beating.”

“Grandma!”

You hear Younghyun’s cry of indignation coming from behind, but you can hear the teasing lilt beneath his words, knowing that he isn’t actually angry. Grandma clicks her tongue at Younghyun as she chases him away to talk to his other relatives, before pulling you to sit beside her. Both of you soon lapse into a comfortable conversation, her hands covering yours the entire way. The occasional pat or squeeze of your hand as she listened to you talk was very comforting, albeit something unfamiliar at first. Growing up without parents, you’ve never had the opportunity to have someone hold your hand as you talked, your aunt often busy working to provide for you when you couldn’t. Grandma’s physical touches were a constant reminder that she was listening, and that was especially touching for someone like yourself that grew up lonely. It was very easy talking to her, and that’s what you do; the concept of time getting further lost on you as both of your transit from one topic to the next with ease.

Younghyun watches the entire scene from afar, his heart swelling with adoration at the sight before him. You’ve gained the approval of his grandmother, and it was heartening to see two important people in his life hitting off so well right off the bat.

Like a scene in a movie, this frame is picture perfect – and he wants it to last forever.


	16. Lie to me

 

The wedding lasts deep into the night, and there were no signs of it slowing down. All night, you were alternating between bites of food and small snippets of conversation, and occasionally, you found yourself balancing a child in your arm, trying to entertain them with cute sticker selfies. You were the next biggest highlight after the bride and groom – and you weren’t sure if you appreciated all the additional attention. Part of you was glad, for that meant that you were welcomed by the family. Yet the constant attention was taking a toll on your energy level, and you were desperately searching for a break.

It came as soon as you thought of it, Grandma waving you over to her seat. You make your way over quickly, grateful for the small respite because no one would come to you anymore once you were by her side. Sitting down beside her once more, you take in the grand sight in front of you, smiling when you found the person you were looking for. Younghyun was engaged in a dance battle with his other relatives, doing his utmost to bust his best dance moves on the floor. Colourful disco lights in shades of the rainbow were shooting lasers around the entire place, lighting up the entire hall like a retro disco.

Your attention on Younghyun was broken when Grandma let a comment slip past her lips, bringing your focus to her instead.

“You know, I was always so curious about you, Rachel.”

You fiddled with your fingers upon hearing her words, nervous laughter making it’s way past your lips. Having attention from someone is mostly flattering, especially from someone so respected. You gather your thoughts, and proceed to give an appropriate response.

“Yes, Brian has told me about it. He said that all of you wanted to see me the moment he mentioned me; said that the family requested to see me tonight.”

“Well, you aren’t wrong about the first part, but not so accurate for the latter.”

You raise your eyebrow at her words – _but that was what he told me…_

Grandma let out a light chortle looking at your confused expression, before proceeding to explain herself.

“Younghyun was the one that requested for your presence tonight; asked if he could bring you along to the wedding. He was going on and on about having met a wonderful girl – there was not a day that goes by where he doesn’t mention you, not a single moment where he’s not smiling when he talks about you. So, I wondered – what sort of girl could possibly make him so happy, so contented? – and asked if there was a day where I could finally see you.

You should have seen his reaction when I asked the question. His face immediately lit up, his eyebrows looking like they shot through his forehead. The corners of his lips were almost split apart by the wide grin he was wearing, and he really couldn’t will himself to stop smiling like a young man giddy with love.

In that moment, I realised that was exactly what he was – a young man giddy and intoxicated with love. In my entire time being his grandmother, never have I ever; not even once, see him so jubilant with joy. I was hoping that his affection would not be misplaced like the last time, but after meeting you tonight, I was glad that my worries were unfounded.

I’m so glad that it’s you Rachel.”

She takes your hand in her again, but this time you don’t return the affection with a smile or soft squeeze of her hands. They lie still in her palms, for you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything else. Your head is churning so fast that it gives you a slight headache, the familiar throbbing of the ache pulsing through your temples. Your insides clench painfully tight at the sudden revelation, making your chest ache as you struggle slightly to breathe now.

It becomes hard to look at Younghyun now, but when you finally lift your eyes slightly to catch sight of the familiar back that you’re so accustomed to seeing now, all you can think of now, is this.

_He lied. Why did he have to lie?_

\---

For the rest of the night, you’re pretty much out of it, giving clipped and rehearsed answers to anymore questions asked, the warmth in your eyes no longer there when the kids ask to play with you. You’re grateful when the wedding finally comes to a close, your eyes fluttering shut in relief when no one was watching. Grandma’s words were replaying in your mind like a broken recorder on repeat, and you wanted nothing more than to escape from this place; being home would definitely silence the thoughts in your mind, and give you the rest that you needed to resume thinking tomorrow.

Whether or not you’ll confront him about it, or keep silent about your new found knowledge… you’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Younghyun catches the dazed look in your eye, his hands immediately finding yours when he assumes his seat beside you in the car.

“Rachel, is everything alright?”

“Hmm? Oh yea, everything’s fine. I’m tired – that’s all.”

You say your rehearsed lie with ease, adding a smile at the end to further convince him.

“Ok, let’s get you home now, alright?”

“Yes, please. Thank you.”

You let go of his hand so he can drive, but Younghyun takes note of how fast you let go; almost like you’re flinging his hand away. You turn your face away from him and close your eyes, hoping that the act of being tired will stop him from asking further questions. It was more for your sake than his – you wanted to tune him out. The familiar, tangy scent of his citrus cologne enveloped you; what was previously comforting now extremely overbearing. Younghyun buys your act without a hint of suspicion, feeling a little guilty as he spots the crease of a frown on your forehead, your eyes scrunched tightly close.

Had he perhaps over exerted you too much tonight? Carting you around from one relative to another, asking you to talk to strangers. He swallows thickly at the thought, deciding that it would be best to get you home quickly so that you can rest. The ride home passes in absolute silence, the low hum of the car engine the only sound you’re aware of.

\---

Younghyun walks you right to your doorstep and you stop him from going further by turning around to face him.

“This far is fine Younghyun. Thank you for sending me home.”

“It’s the least I can do. Thank you too, for being so kind towards my family and accompanying me to the wedding. I hope it wasn’t too tiring?”

“A little, but nothing a good night’s sleep wouldn’t cure. Good night Younghyun, drive home safely.”

“Good night love.”

Both of you are done saying your parting words, yet Younghyun shows no sign of moving from his position. Instead, you see him raise a hand towards you, his hand coming to rest right below the small bun at the back of your head. Holding you in place gently, he leans forward slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, the familiar feeling of his soft lips against your skin causing a light shiver to pass through your body. You place both hands on his waist, fingers lightly gripping the material of his navy-blue jacket to steady yourself on your feet. He pulls away reluctantly, wanting to stay with you a little while longer. You look up at him, and for a short while, notice how the stars twinkling in the midnight blue sky seem to mirror the ones in his eyes. But you don’t get much time to admire him when his phone buzzes in his phone, the vibrations breaking apart the sweet moment as it pierces through the silent night.

“Go home Younghyun, it’s late.”

Using both hands that were still on his waist, you push him slightly to send him away and Younghyun finally takes a step back away from you and turns towards his car.

“Text me when you’re home!”

You holler towards him just before he steps into his car and he flashes you a thumbs up sign, staying in his car till he sees you walk in, finally turning his attention to his phone when he sees your bedroom light turn on. Fishing his phone out from his back pocket, he scoffs at the overly enthusiastic message in typical Wonpil style.

**_From: Piripiri_ **

**_KANG BRA HYUNG!!! PALLI!!! THE CHALET IS GETTING STARTED WITHOUT YOU!!!_ **

His fingers fly across the keyboard to type out a response quickly, chuckling as he did so.

**_To: Piripiri_ **

**_Alright I’m coming, give me 20_ **

Needless to say, you don’t get a text from Younghyun to announce that he’s home – but rather – you’re greeted by a more horrible sight instead.


	17. Broken hearts

 

Brian nearly gets tackled to the ground the moment he shows himself, Wonpil and Jae slamming into him with full force as they cuff him around his neck. He pushes the jesters off him good-naturedly, before shoving them in the direction of the chalet. He wonders if they're tipsy, and the empty beer cans littering the area confirms his suspicions. He shakes his head at their antics, wondering how the duo have so little restrain when it comes to drinking. Sungjin and Dowoon are the only sober ones on the team, the former grilling meat and the latter silently sipping on his soda in the background.

"You're finally here, took you long enough."

Sungjin takes a playful jab at Brian's tardiness, eyes darting between the sizzling meat and Brian's face, a smirk hanging on his lips.

"Sorry, the wedding ended late."

"Still, shouldn't you make up for being late? I had to suffer more because of your absence. Birthday boy wouldn't leave me alone, clinging onto me and whining about why you weren't here yet."

His captain shivers in exaggeration, before proceeding to jerk his head in the direction of Wonpil, whom is now engaged in a high note battle with Jae, their dolphin-like screams making Brian wince. Turning back to Sungjin, he says,

"I'll gladly make up for it. What do you need me to do?"

"We're running out of ice to chill the drinks, and ice cream too. Take Dowoon with you, those two are too out of it to be of much use now."

Sungjin and Brian both snigger under their breaths as they continue to eye the comedic duo. The raven-haired male claps Sungjin on the shoulder, wishing him a silent good luck in being able to watch over Jae and Wonpil while the two of them were away.

Walking up to Dowoon, he puts his arm over the broad shoulders of the younger, steering him in the direction of the convenience store.

"Come on, let's go get Wonpil's favourite ice cream."

Dowoon follows without much resistance, the light bounce in his step an indication that he, too, was glad to get away from the rowdy scene for a short while.

\---

“We got everything?”

Dowoon takes a peek into the bag as he does a visual check of the items bought, nodding his head as he raises it up from its craned position over the bag. He meets Brian’s eye for a short while – until something else coming up from behind Brian’s back catches his attention.

Or rather, _someone_ coming up from behind Brian’s back catches his attention.

Brian notices how the smile is wiped from the younger’s face, and the feeling of someone watching him prickles the back of his neck.

“Dowoon, what’s wrong?”

Dowoon’s voice comes out soft, barely above a whisper.

“Hyung…”

He lifts a shaky finger to point at something behind Brian but the star player does not have to turn his head to figure out what caught Dowoon’s attention – for he hears the familiar click of heels against the tarmac floor; a memory buried deep within his mind resurfacing yet it’s an unpleasant one, his fist clenching as his lips curl at the memory. He feels the figure stand right behind him, and he turns around to face the person, knowing very well who to expect – but expectation doesn’t necessarily make one more prepared for how the outcome feels – and this one feels like a punch in the gut, a slap in the face.

Seeing Ayeon never gets easier – only harder – but this time, for different reasons.

Unlike before, his eyes that meet hers don’t hold any warmth, a greeting no longer hanging by his lips as he reaches for you. Instead, he stares her down with a steely cold gaze, his lips forming a sneer as his fists remain firmly clenched by his side. Ayeon remains unfazed by his hostile reaction towards her, keeping her poker face in place as she crosses her arms over her chest. She smiles a sickeningly sweet smile at Brian, and he has to look away for a moment before he gets too disgusted and loses his appetite for the birthday party later. She feigns innocence, and lets a surprised gasp fall from her lips as she pretends to finally notice his presence.

“Oh Brian? What a lovely surprise! What brings you to this chalet? I was just having a small weekend getaway here and – ”

Brian rolls his eyes at her nonsensical rambling, and decides to put an end to it.

“Cut the bullshit Ayeon. You’re not here on accident; you never liked such places. What did you say about them last time…”

Brian pretends to be deep in thought, letting his head hang low as he lets out a scoff.

“Right, I remember now. You said that such places were _filthy_ , meant for the _good-for-nothings_ that could not afford better. So, how about you stop pretending to be nice and tell me what you want, so that we can settle it and have nothing to do with one another again. _Ever._ ”

He punctuates his points with venom, head snapping up to give her a murderous glare to get his point across. But Ayeon merely laughs at him; finding him amusing when he’s angry. Now that her ploy has been exposed, no need to keep up the façade.

“Ah Brian, as expected, you haven’t lost your sharp mind yet. You’re right – I’m not here on accident. I just wanted to confirm something with you, since I have no other way to reach the other party except through you. Evening…Luna… was it? Rachel’s café. We’re pretty interested in the area; we’ve got a contract all prepared. I was hoping that you would be able to kindly put me in touch with her.”

Upon the mention of Rachel, Brian nearly lunges at Ayeon, but is promptly stopped by Dowoon’s firm grip on his shoulder and his deep voice of warning; having forgotten about Dowoon the moment he started arguing with Ayeon.

“Hyung!”

Brian comes back to his senses immediately, taking a step back obediently when Dowoon pulls him away. Brian’s eyes dart between Dowoon behind him and Ayeon right in front, weighing the gravity of her words uttered before.

_Her parents are real estate developers. They have the power to take away Rachel’s parents life works the moment she convinces them to take interest in the area. No… this won’t do… I need to convince Ayeon to leave Rachel alone._

Ayeon watches Brian’s internal battle with perverse glee, the corner of her blood red lips tugging up ever so slightly as she drums her perfectly manicured nails against her arm, mocking Brian with impatient, incessant taps of her heels against the tarmac floor. Brain notices this all – she’s a predator waiting for her prey, _him_ , to take the bait.

He knows he shouldn’t, it’ll be like throwing himself into a blazing fire to be burned alive, but he has no choice – if he wants to protect the one, he loves.

Turning behind to face Dowoon, he tries not to let his fear show as he swallows slowly, steadying his voice with great effort as he utters his next words.

“Dowoon, could you take the things and go back first? Tell Sungjin that I’m a little… _caught up_. If he asks, tell him I’ll be back soon.”

He gives Dowoon a pointed look at his last words, making it very clear that he does not want Sungjin knowing. Sungjin might come running for him, and things might blow out of proportion; no one could ever predict. The less people know, the better.

Dowoon shakes his head slowly as he gulps nervously, not entirely convinced by Brian’s conviction. Dowoon stays unmoving from his spot, not wanting to leave Brian alone with Ayeon, most especially not with the sinister look on her face now. Brian senses Dowoon’s apprehension, and merely gives the younger a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder – or so he thinks. In reality, Brian’s grip is too tight, his blunt nails are digging into Dowoon’s muscles, the skin potentially bruising later. With one last push, he pushes Dowoon towards the chalet, nodding his head as Dowoon takes a shaky step away from the pair.

_Ayeon wouldn’t try anything when I’m still here and we will both never figure out her true intentions. But. I can come back for hyung later. I just have to pretend to walk away and then figure out where they’re headed for later._

Keeping his head down, Dowoon pretends to walk away in defeat, turning away from the pair fully. When he’s certain they can no longer see him, Dowoon quickly hides behind a pillar, eyeing the pair carefully.

\---

Seeing that Dowoon is gone, Brian turns back to face Ayeon, his murderous glare back on again. He cuts to the chase immediately, launching his accusations with no mercy.

“What do you with her Ayeon?”

“Rachel? Oh I want nothing to do with her Brian. But…”

“But?”

Brian snaps, clenching his jaw in annoyance at the way that Ayeon is taking her time to toy with him.

“But I want you Brian.”

She takes a step closer, sliding her fingers across the lapel of his navy blue jacket as he slowly takes her time saying her next words.

“Just…you…and me… having some fun together.”

Brian stays in his spot unmoving, eyes fixed faraway on a spot above her head. He refuses to look at her; the sight is revolting. Seeing that her tactics are not working against the uncooperative Brian, Ayeon decides to tease him more, now tilting her face upwards so that her lips rest just millimetres away from his.

 _So clos_ e, that if either of them moved, they would collide.

“Of course you can say no, but…”

She grips his jacket tightly, tugging it harshly to prove her point.

_But Rachel will pay the price for your disobedience._

Brian shifts his eyes downwards, eyeing Ayeon through his slit eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Follow me.”

Ayeon finally lets go, not even bothering to smooth out the wrinkles in his jacket before marching in the direction of where she came from. Brian follows, and Dowoon trails behind the duo.

\---

You groan when the shrill tunes of your ringtone pierces through the silent night, and you turn to your side as your blankets tangle around your legs – which nutjob was calling you at such an ungodly hour? What could not possibly wait till daylight?

**_Kang Younghyun_ ** ****_calling  
  
_

You swipe the green button without hesitation, ready to give Brian an earful if he roused you from your precious sleep for a prank.

“He – ”

“Rachel? Can I see you for a moment?”

You were about to chide Brian for rudely interrupting you, but the urgency in his voice made you hold your tongue. You bring the phone away from your ears to check the time – **_03:12_** _–_ and you groan once more, your pillow muffling the sound. ****_  
  
_

“Younghyun, can’t this wait till tomorrow? It’s very, very late now; we can meet tomorrow if you want to alright?”

You were about to end the call but his next words have you jolting awake in your bed as you throw your blanket off you.

“Rachel… please… don’t go. I have to see you now… _please_. There is something I must tell you, so please let me see you. Please, please, _please_ don’t leave me alone…”

He sounds so desperate, like a vulnerable, broken, little boy. It was a startling difference from the confident, strong and cheeky Kang Younghyun that you’ve become so accustomed to – and the difference _scared_ you. What happened during the past few hours? Did someone hurt him? Did something catastrophic happen? – because it sure sounded like it did from his shaky, small voice that had just begged you over the phone. That was _not_ the Kang Younghyun that you knew – someone must have broken him. You were worried – afraid even – but if Younghyun was terrified now, you have to be the strong one here. You needed to protect him now – like how he did for you before.

Steeling your nerves, you asked in a calm voice,

“Younghyun, where are you now? I’ll come find you ok, tell me – ”

“I’m outside your house. By the door.”

“Ok, don’t move. I’ll come down now, stay with me on the phone.”

Jumping over your bed, you flung your bedroom door open as you dashed down the stairs, reaching the front door in 3 big jumps. You fumble with the lock in the dark for some time, cursing your shaky hands as your phone was perched precariously between your shoulder and ears.

You throw the heavy door open, ready to launch yourself at Younghyun – but the sight in front of you made you halt in your steps, your questions dying in your throat.

 _He was an absolute wreck._ His previously styled hair was now unkempt, the slightly longer strands obscuring his eyes. His crisp suit was now wrinkled and crumpled, darker patches of sweat staining the navy blue almost black. However, the drastic change in his appearance wasn’t the most jarring difference – but rather – his eyes. _It was his eyes._

His twinkling eyes always curved into beautiful crescents were now bloodshot; and even under the slight haze of sleep, you can see the web of red veins from his eyes blown wide, the dark orbs now looking like a bottomless, black pit. In it, you see fear and hysteria, and you shiver even though it was a hot, balmy night.

_This isn’t the Kang Younghyun I know. What have they done to him?_

You feel your heart physically aches as your chest caves in, taking shallow breaths as you feel the first tears stinging your eyes.

Younghyun – too – is no exception.

The moment he gets to lay his eyes on you, tears well up in his eyes and he lunges forward to engulf you in a bone-crushing hug before you get to see the first tears fall, your phone clattering to the ground from the force slamming into you.

He has one arm wrapped around your shoulders and the other crossed across your upper back, his hand resting against your ribcage. But this hug is unlike the others – it isn’t comforting, neither does it convey warm emotions. Instead, it is one that is physically painful to receive, and speaks of depths of sorrow. His chest is pressing into yours so tightly that it crushes your chest, making it hard to breathe. The gentle hands that used to caress your skin were now gripping onto your shoulder and ribcage tightly, his nails digging into the thin skin. Despite the physical torment, you can’t find the heart to push him off or scold him – you can sense that he really needs it, and you let him does what might make him feel better as you blink back your tears. But the moment you feel his warm tears slide down your neck, your tears well up again and this time round, a few droplets slip down your cheeks. Burrowing his face into your hair and neck, Brian holds you as he cries, apologies spewing from his lips furiously.

“I’m sorry Rachel… I’m really sorry, I’m very sorry. I am so, so, so, so sorry…”

He keeps repeating the same words over and over again, and you raise your hands to run them soothingly across the vast expanse of his back, hoping to calm him down.

“What are you sorry for? Please talk to me Younghyun… it hurts me to see you cry.”

Younghyun bites back another sob as he hears your kind words, but fresh tears fall from his eyes, staining your neck and back as they slip further down. He can’t think of anything else to say to you except to apologise – and that’s all he keeps doing.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Knowing that your words bring him sorrow instead of comfort, you opt to keep your mouth shut as you continue to rub his back, alternating between strokes and circles.

When your neck no longer feels wet and he stops shaking, you know he’s exhausted himself from all the crying. His body feels heavier against you now, you supporting most of his weight. You move to bring him into the house, but his voice stops you.

“Rachel.”

“Hmmm?”

“Whatever happens, please know that I did it for you. _I love you._ ”

Your hands still in their ministrations, too shocked by what you just heard. Only one response comes to mind, and you say it for him – knowing that it will comfort him, as much as it will comfort you to finally get it off your chest.

“ _I love you too._ ”


	18. Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: I am so very, very, very sorry for the slow updates with Fallen >< but here it is – Chapter 18! Please do enjoy :)

 

 

What transpired that night is still a haze in your memory. You woke up with a slight headache, your eyes sore from the crying last night. You think back to last night, and you feel your throat constrict, threatening to push the tears back out again. All you can picture in your mind is the look of delirium on his face and his vice-like grip on you. Even the peaceful tranquillity of the morning threatens to be broken by the memory of his repeated apologies resurfacing. Moving deeper into the memory, you remember frisking him, moving from his face down the entire length of his torso. Yet you found nothing amiss - not even the slightest scratch - and you were sure that this memory was not tainted. Nothing about last night added up to any sort of logical scenario – so _what the hell_ happened? The intense thinking made your head pound more, causing you to furrow your eyebrows. Hoping that a cold shower might wash your thoughts away, you attempt to move out from your bed, only to be alerted to a weight against your stomach, your eyes wandering downwards to find an arm draped across it.   
Right – Younghyun – he was here with you ever since last night. You remember not being able to get him to move after his intense sobbing last night, the light literally leaving his eyes as he slumps down onto your bed. You figure he could stay for one night, and you'll question him in the morning – so here you were now. In a bed with his sleeping figure beside yours. Gently prying his fingers off you, you proceed without much success when he immediately fists the fabric of your shirt in his hand, not letting you go at all. He mumbles something incoherent as he pulls you back, and you have to lean down closer to hear his whispers. He sounds like he did last night with the repeated apologies, but this time round, he's chanting another word: _Stay._ You attempt to leave again, desperate for the cool water to relieve some of the tension in your body but his urgent pleading soon becomes frantic, and you turn to lie back by his side, a hand quickly coming up to smooth his hair. The action quickly placated the troubled boy lying beside you. His tight grip on your shirt releases, his voice quietening down till the only sounds left are of his soft breathing. Still, a small frown etches itself onto his face – even in his sleep, he's troubled. You use your thumb to smooth out the frown, but you know it does nothing to quieten down the storm in his mind.   
_What happened to you Younghyun-ah? What exactly are you apologising for?_   
\---  
The two questions trouble you but no matter how much you think about it, you don't get any answers. You avoid Younghyun for the rest of the week because seeing him only makes things worse. You try to get the answers discreetly from the team, but none of them give you anything remotely useful to work with. All Wonpil and Jae remember are chugging down drinks and laughing themselves silly afterwards, and Sungjin's last memory of Younghyun was asking him to buy ice cream but he never returned afterwards.   
"What do you mean he never returned?"  
"Only Dowoon came back with the things, saying that Kang Bra had rushed off somewhere but without giving him an explanation. Then the next thing I know, you're coming to find me to ask about that night. Like right now."  
Sungjin then bows his head to go back planning for training sessions and it's clear that your time with him is over. Biting back a sigh of frustration, you straighten up from your hunched position over Sungjin, and your eyes land on the last person you want to see right now.   
Kang Younghyun is standing right behind Sungjin, just a few feet away from you. His wrinkled school uniform brings back flashbacks of the fateful night and suddenly, you can't bear to look at him anymore. Him, on the other hand, stands unmoving as he continues to stare at you. You throw your bag over your shoulders as fast as you can, bidding goodbye to Sungjin in a hushed breath as he lifts an arm towards you in a noncommittal manner. Brian watches you until he can't anymore before moving up the space to stand beside Sungjin, his captain only registering his presence at this moment.   
"Oh, you're here? Rachel just left though." is what Sungjin says, blissfully unaware of what just happened between the both of you.   
  
For the remaining days, you avoided Younghyun like a plague. He just brought you more questions than answers and it was driving you insane. School was already giving you enough of a headache so the additional pressure was unwelcome. You avoided his usual hangout spots, the basketball court, the locker rooms. You even went so far as to not walk past his classroom if you could; you had his timetable lodged in your memory.   
  
Despite your efforts, he still managed to find you. It was like a game of hide and seek that you can never win.

You'd catch sight of him walking towards you in between classes, feel him brush past your shoulders ever so slightly before turning into the next classroom. You were still seeing him for lunch, but that was a no brainer. Questions will be asked should you suddenly avoid the team now, but what you wanted was less questions, not more. Both of you would sit in silence beside one another, shoulders barely brushing the other. You'd try to make small talk when the team turns their attention to the both of you, but the topic never strayed to that night. It was an unspoken rule that it was strictly off boundaries. Thankfully, the team seemed to buy the act, and for that, you were thankful. If seeing him around on school grounds wasn't enough, you had to see him outside of school as well. You started bumping into him at the school bus stop more often, and you had the snaking feeling that not all of it was by pure coincidence. You squirmed on your spot, shifting your weight back and forth on the soles of your feet. You tried to ignore his presence but it was impossible.

With time, you had grown accustomed to him. All he had to do was throw a glance in your direction, and you'd just know that it was him. You hadn't even noticed until now, but your body _knew_ him. Your bus rolled into the bus stop right when you contemplated walking to the other bus stop further down to escape him. You may or may not have rushed onto the bus with too much eagerness, and you kept your gaze straight on the floor, worried that if you risk lifting your head up, you'd make accidental eye contact with him. Even when you've settled into your seat, you felt his gaze on you all the way till the bus was too far away from the bus stop.   
 ---

All you wanted to do is fold yourself inwards and completely collapse every time you're around Kang Younghyun, but the show must go on.   
  
Although, it seems, that you're the only one acting now. All that he does seems more genuine, with a lot less frivolous acting that he used to do.   
  
You nearly dropped the stack of books in your hands when you caught sight of him, his side profile half hidden by the pillar had made you mistaken him for a ghost. You stared at him wide eyed as he walked over nonchalantly to take the books from your hand, and continued on his way despite your vehement protests. They consequently died out when you entered the bustling hallway, not wanting to make a scene. You opted to follow silently behind him, all the while fixing him with a hard gaze. But Kang Younghyun remains to be Kang Younghyun, clearly remaining unfazed by anything under the sun. The casual, backward glance that he threw you over his shoulder was him making it known that he had won this round.   
  
During lunch, you watched with wide eyes as he took your lunch tray from you, switching out the dishes that you didn't like with the ones that you liked from his tray. He then pushes the tray back with the same air of nonchalance that he had with the book incident, as if this was nothing new. Your eyes flit between Kang Younghyun and your tray, unsure of what to make of the situation. On one hand, it was obvious what he was doing, but then again, this is new. When he catches you staring, he merely pushes the tray further towards you, gesturing to you with his spoon to start eating. You nod your head in understanding, and Kang Younghyun’s gaze doesn’t leave you until you take your first bite of food.

Fast forward a little into the afternoon, and you found yourself stuck.

The rain falls in steady, heavy drops upon the concrete pavement, the rebounding droplets splashing against your shoes. You tugged your jacket closer around your face, bracing yourself for the run towards the bus stop. Yet, before you can take a step of the grey concrete step, you feel a familiar weight around your shoulder, and the familiar calloused thumb rubbing your skin through the thin fabric of your uniform and jacket.

Kang Younghyun looks down at smaller self as he brings his umbrella over to shelter the both of you from the rain, mentally chiding you for wanting to run in the rain. Instead, he settles for setting his lips into a thin line, and pulls you closer towards his body wordlessly before pushing both of you forward into the rain. Neither of you say anything throughout the short walk, your body reeling from having him so close to you again. When all you can register is the feeling of his hand on your shoulder and his body pressed against yours, that’s when the feeling comes crashing down on you. You _miss_ him. _You miss him so much._ Your bones ache as your chest thrums with painful longing – longing to just put your arms around him and hold him close.

Yet you stand rooted at your spot when both of you come to a stop, your mind crippling your ability to move. You are jolted out of your thoughts when Younghyun pulls you to move you out of harm’s way, the e-scooter zooming down the pavement behind you just seconds later, the sudden gush of wind causing your hair to ruffle in the wind.

“Are you ok? What’s wrong? Why didn’t you avoid the scooter?”

Cradling your face in his hands, he shifts your head slightly from left to right before he’s satisfied that you’re not injured. Spotting the stray strands of hair, his fingers move to gently shift your hair away from your face, tucking them neatly behind your ear as his other hand on your waist holds you in place. You almost lean into his touch, but he pulls his hand back before you get a chance to subconsciously do it.

The entire time that he was fixing your hair, you had already gotten lost in his eyes. They’re like a blackhole, sucking you into a wondrous galaxy – but – before you can get too lost in them to find your way out, he breaks the spell by breaking eye contact, eyeing the bus that just rolled into the bus stop.

“Rachel, that’s your bus. You should go.”

“Oh. _Oh._ I should go.”

“Yes, but take this.”

He places the umbrella into your hands before nudging you in the direction of the bus, and it takes a long time for you to finally turn and leave because a part of you just wants to stay and look at him a little more, but the other part of you is just screaming to go. The latter wins eventually, and you tear your gaze away from your face painfully, feeling the painful thrum turn into a crushing ache in your chest. When you settle into the seat by the window, you turn to look at him, and he raises an arm to wave goodbye.

That’s when you notice it: the entire left half of his body is soaked, the wet fabric clinging onto his well-defined muscles.

At this juncture, you can’t decide if you want to hop off the bus and give him a huge hug, or turn away and pretend that you never saw the sacrifice he made for you.

Most of you, you can’t decide what is it that _you_ wanted with _him_. You had gone such a long time being able to successfully avoid him and your feelings, but all it took was a simple touch to have you crumbling in his hand.

Then there was _him_. Gone was all the acting – in its place was acts of genuine kindness that made your heart _ache for him more_ , not less. Right when you wanted to push him away, he manages to squeeze into your heart, barely slipping through the small slit but he still manages to do so anyways.

_Kang Younghyun, what is it that you are doing to me…_

All you can do is bury your head in your hands as you let out a deep sigh of frustration, hoping that which each shallow exhale you took, you could expel more of his presence out of you, hoping to forget.


	19. Better left unsaid

 

Taking Biology was a mistake. You sucked at it. And it was now causing you immense stress. Seized with the fear that you'll fail the module unless you do something about it this instant, you enlisted the help of Dowoon to tutor you on it. Despite being a freshman, it was clear that he knew his content better than you could ever hope to achieve. Thankfully, Dowoon was a sweetheart, and agreed to tutor you without hesitation.

So here you were, at 9am on a Saturday morning at the family cafe, making two cups of beverages behind the counter as you waited for Dowoon to arrive. The soft ring of the wind chimes traveled in a beautiful melody to reach your ears and you lifted your head from the puppy latte art that you managed to complete on time, a smile gracing your lips with a greeting pressed at the tip of your tongue.

Only for the smile to falter, and your greeting to come out as a meek stutter instead of a confident exclamation.

"Hi Dowoon...and...”

The older male, whose hair was now long enough to cover his eyes in the time that you had not seen him, was staring back at you as you did with him. Dowoon catches on to the fishy behaviour, eyes darting back and forth between the both of you. Yet, the younger male isn't deciphering, but merely observing.

Younghyun decides to save the awkward atmosphere himself by greeting you first.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Your words come out too curt – you were reacting instinctively like a gun's recoil. Desperate to be away from his penetrating gaze, you try to busy yourself with making beverages again, asking Dowoon to lead the way upstairs.

"Both of you can just head up first... Right... Thanks Dowoon."

He takes the 2 cups from the counter as you busy yourself with making a next cup of beverage, diverting your attention quickly from Kang Younghyun. Now clearly affected by his presence, your minds and hands work on auto-pilot, grabbing ingredients and mixing them without being 100% sure on what you're making.

When you see the end product, you groan in annoyance. An iced Americano now sat right in front of you, the light clinking of the ice against the glass cup seeming to mock you rather than sound like a cheerful ring. How did you even manage to make his favourite drink without even being fully conscious of this choice?

Once again, it was very clear to you now, that your body was absolutely used to his presence, and that no matter. how hard you try to shake it off, you won't ever be able to do it. Swallowing your sigh of frustration, you grab the drink and headed up the spiral staircase.

When you reached the top of the landing, both boys turned to look at you simultaneously, and you decided to focus on Dowoon. Dowoon's eyes were safe, there was no risk of losing your cool even if you were to look into them. You took the seat right beside Dowoon, even though there was an empty seat right in front of the two boys – a seat that was clearly meant for you. You could feel Younghyun's eyes on you the entire time, and you had to resist the urge to squirm under his gaze. Taking a deep breath, you turned to Dowoon and said, "Let's start, shall we?"

The younger male nodded his head and when your eyes shifted to the textbook in front of you, Younghyun knew that his time with you was over, and that his attempts to catch your attention had failed. He was about to let out a barely concealed sigh until his eyes landed on the iced Americano in front of him.

_You still remember._

\---

You wish you could say that the rest of the day would be smooth sailing, but obviously, life never worked out the way you wanted to. You could constantly feel like your every move and gesture was being watched, and you were dead sure that you weren't mistaken – you had an acute sense, you always knew when you were being watched. The feeling intensified whenever you got too close to Dowoon, even when it was just a friendly shove on his shoulder. Tension slowly built up in your body the entire time – your shoulders were tense, your grip on your pen much too tight. By the time the study session ended because the boys had to leave for basketball training, your hands were red from the pressure and sticky with perspiration, and you've torn through at least three sheets of paper with your rough writing.

The mild anger that was radiating of Kang Younghyun and projecting onto you was too much for you to bear, and you couldn't be happier to usher them both out of the cafe door; perhaps you might have shut the door too eagerly in their faces. You felt a twinge of guilt for doing so – mostly at Dowoon – but you were glad for the reprieve. Finally, you could be away from Kang Younghyun, and left alone in peace without eyes drilling holes into your back.

Still, you couldn't deny the dull ache in your chest that thrummed again when Kang Younghyun was out of your sight. Once again, your heart was missing him even before your mind was aware of it.

_Stupid heart... Why do you still want him so much..._

\---

Within 10 minutes of training, Kang Younghyun was benched – a first for the star player ever since he earned the status. It was obvious to Coach Nickhun that he wasn't even paying attention to the game and with a shrill shriek of his whistle and loud yell, Younghyun was sent off court. He felt slightly embarrassed and guilty for not taking the game seriously when the others were, but he knew his top priority was sorting out his feelings for you - before he could focus on anything else.

_Kang Younghyun what's wrong with you? They're just friends. They have the same class together and they spend time with one another – of course they're close. There is nothing wrong... And nothing more to that._

Somehow, the last part didn't sound very convincing in his head and with fear gnawing away at his chest, Kang Younghyun tousled his hair roughly, a few strands of black hair falling to the ground from the exertion.  
  
As much as he hated to admit it, he was jealous. There was no other plausible explanation for his feelings, except for jealousy. The stupid, illogical, green eyed monster had finally caught up with him, and Kang Younghyun felt like an absolute fool for giving in to its stupid ideas. Kang Younghyun was terribly, absolutely and hopelessly in love with you now. Not being close to you just made things harder, making him irrational when he couldn't be assured of your affection for him.

"What's up with you today?"

Younghyun looks up to find his captain shoving a bottle into his face and the star player gratefully accepts, draining the drink within seconds.

"Woah slow down Kang, you're going to choke and die."

"Maybe if I choked and die it would be better so I don't have to think."

"What's got you so frustrated? Maybe talking to Rachel will help."

Sungjin watches as Younghyun's hands crush the empty plastic bottle slightly, and he knows he's accidentally hit a nerve.

"Want to talk about it?"

He claps the younger on his shoulder, and sits down beside him.

"It's just getting worse."

"Getting worse. Very helpful. Very specific."

Younghyun glares at the older from the side of his eye but he gets the hint: _I can't help you if you're not going to tell me what the problem is._

"Rachel. Things are getting worse with her."

"How so?"

"I can't... I..."

Younghyun licks his chapped lips and sigh, it was so hard admitting his relationship struggles to Sungjin, even though he's someone that he'll trust with his life.

"Carry on Kang."

Sungjin might seem like he's rushing Younghyun, but the latter knows he means well.

"I can't help all the feelings I have for her. Everything she does affects me so much, and I'm scared of what that all means."

Sungjin rises an eyebrow – and Younghyun knows he must explain.

"I'm just terribly in love with her, and it's making me irrational."

He proceeds to bury his head in his hands, the image of you being chummy with Dowoon surfacing in his mind, and the discomfort associated with it feels like nailing digging into his chest.

"Of course, you're in love with her. You have to be in love with her to feel this way."

"Huh?"

Younghyun stares at his captain with a quizzical look, a sound of confusion leaving his throat.

"You're in love with her, that's why you're scared of losing her, that's where all the discomfort and confusion comes from. The fear pricks you: what if you really lose her one day? You're confused because you've never felt so strongly for someone before and feeling jealously for the first time is strange. But trust me Kang. It's normal. That's just how it is. But you’re lucky – the solution is also simple. All the two of you need is a good talk. Both of you _just_ need to communicate."

Sungjin shoots Younghyun a glare to emphasise his last point and Younghyun gulps because he's been caught.

"So, you've noticed."

Sungjin scoffs, scrunching up his handsome features as he snorts in disbelief. The contrast between the handsome face and the funny sound that leaves his mouth is hard to reconcile and for the first time that day, Younghyun smiles.

"So, you've noticed." Sungjin mimics his team mate and gestures wildly with his hands, and earns himself a punch from the younger.

"Of course, I did! All of us did! We just didn't want to say anything to save both of you face."

Sungjin calms down, and turns back to the main topic at hand.

"Seriously though. Talk to Rachel. Just talk to her. I'm not sure what went down between the both of you but she came to ask me – "

Younghyun’s eyebrows shoot into his forehead as he interrogates his captain.

"What did you tell her?"

"Nothing, relax. Just told her that you disappeared after I told you to get drinks and ice cream. That was before you told me that you had to leave because of an emergency so I couldn't tell her why."

"Oh... What did she say?"

"Nothing much. What else can she say? Then she left once you got there."

"Ok. Thanks Capt."

"Ok Kang. Relax kid, you gotta relax. Also, you'd better be grateful for the help." Which is Sungjin's code for: _Glad I could help._

Sungjin turns to leave, but not before turning back to say one last thing.

"Oh, and remember to be honest. About everything. The truth won't stay hidden forever – and when it surfaces on its own, it’s going to be an ugly monster. So… be honest.”

Upon hearing Sungjin’s words, Younghyun’s heart stops beating for a moment, thinking that _he knows._ But when his captain shoots him a genuine smile and a thumbs up before jogging off to join the team on court, he has to force himself to take a deep breath and _breathe_ – before he passes out from the lack of oxygen. It’s painful to even swallow, sandpaper scratching against his throat.

Younghyun knows that Sungjin is right, but in between his erratically beating heart and light headedness from the tense moment, one thing is clear: _I’ll talk to Rachel one day. But some things are better left unsaid._  



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist: Yellow; Coldplay
> 
> Author’s note: I’m very sorry that it took me so long to have this chapter out but if you’re still sticking around to see read this story, please know that my thanks come from the bottom of my heart. Updates won’t be regular still because I’ll be travelling but as before, I’ll continue working on it when I can.

Younghyun comes over regularly for study sessions with you and Dowoon and whilst you’re still awkward with your “boyfriend”, there was no reason for you to chase him out – can’t – chase him out. You have to settle for a tense atmosphere whenever he’s around but with time, it’s gotten better – at least you can breathe slightly easier now. You talk to him only when necessity requires it, an occasional small lift of the corners of your lips to show him the pretty smile that he misses so much. But it also hurts – because it’s just an inkling of what you used to give him – and his heart yearns for more. The solution to all your problems with him should have been simple – just talk to him. Clear the air. Trash things out. Do what normal couples do. _Communicate._

But both of you were never a normal couple to begin with – the thought still pricks your heart sometimes when you think about it – and at times, it was hard to know when it’s alright to cross to line. Would it be weird to ask him about that traumatic night? Were you allowed to? Were you ready to hear the answer to the question? These thoughts ran at a million miles in your head and there was no way to silence them.

For Younghyun, the situation was excruciating for him as well. He had things that he wanted to say to you, and you knew it. Both of you were just sitting around for the other to break the silence and start the conversation but it was much easier said than done. It was only during the most fragile moments of vulnerability that the masks slipped, and the inhibitions melted away.

\---

The sound of the wind chimes doesn’t catch your attention anymore, you're used to the door at this time on a Saturday morning. What you're not used to it the sound of one pair of footsteps only. You meet his eyes immediately when you turn around to face him, scalding your tongue on your hot tea accidentally when you realize that it's Younghyun instead of Dowoon.

"May I?" He gestures to the level above, and you nod your head. He walks away but you stop him before he gets too far away. You'd forgotten to ask the most important question.

"Do you need a drink?" He smiles softly at your statement.

"The usual."

You nod in understanding, hands going back to make the familiar drink that you knew so well. Making it was like second nature by now, you didn't even need to think. Your hand just moves on auto-pilot by themselves. Carrying both drinks up the stairs, you placed the cups down quietly before assuming your seat right next to him.

"Dowoonie?" You asked, with the softest voice Younghyun has ever heard.

"Hospital. He might have stretched his ligament a little too much yesterday. Capt and Pil are with him now to get it checked."

You hum in understanding, and decided to send Dowoon a get well soon text. Your phone pings just before you set your phone aside, containing a thumbs up gif from Dowoon. You close the message, missing Younghyun's side glance at you. Both of you work in relative silence, the clinking of cups against wood and the occasional question breaking the silence.

"Could you explain this equation to me?"

"I need help with the process of DNA replication, do you have any idea how it's supposed to work?"

Your Biology might not be the best, but it was at least way better than Younghyun's. In between sips of drinks and the conversation arising from the questions, Younghyun's eyelids grow heavy and he slumps his head down on the table, the loud thud catching your attention. You purse your lips and shake your head slightly at his behaviour – still the same Kang Younghyun. Still doing whatever he likes without really being aware of his surroundings. Looking at him sleep, it reminded you that perhaps you needed a break too. Lifting your face towards the ceiling, you're immediately assaulted by the cold blast of air from the air conditioning. You shiver when the icy cold fingers of the frigid air brush past your neck and you immediately lower your face to avoid the dry and cold wind.

_He might be cold..._

Standing up wordlessly, you trudge to the nearby cabinet to flip through your personal collection of blankets (you always had some of them at the cafe, ready for your usage whenever you were there to study) Walking over with the biggest one you had, you draped the blanket carefully over the sleeping boy, careful to not wake him. Immediately after, you shook your head at your silliness. You knew Kang Younghyun. Once he was out like a light, nothing could wake him up again. There was no need for you to worry about interrupting his sleep. With one last glance at him, you headed down the spiral staircase, leaving the sleeping boy alone.

\---

Time must have passed but its meaning was lost on you. Between the pages of Fredrik Backman and his discussion of aging and forgiveness reflected through his compelling characters, your revision was forgotten.

As was the boy that lay peacefully sleeping above.

But you were rudely ripped away from the world of Ove by the sharp screech of the chair right above. You winced at the shrill sound, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. You attempted to stand to investigate the sound, but you were interrupted by the thundering of footsteps down the spiral staircase, the force causing slightly tremors in the cafe. You watch as Younghyun makes his way down the stairs, chanting something under his breath but you can't make it out. He's frantic, almost delirious. You had to snap him out of it.

 _"Younghyun."_ That was all it took for him to snap his head to stare at you dead in the eyes.

_It's that look. It's that look again._

Your blood runs cold when you think back to that fateful night. It's like you were looking at that Kang Younghyun again. The one who came knocking on your door at the dead of the night, completely dishevelled, wearing the same crazed look in his eyes. Yet, just like before, your presence was the simple remedy to this. The moment he laid his eyes on you, the alarm in his eyes dimmed and his breathing immediately slowed, his shoulders drooping as he collapsed into himself. _You were here. Here with him. That's all that matters._ You slowly sit back down as Younghyun shuffles to approach you, and you eye him the entire way. He towers over you as he comes to a stop right in front of you and you have to crane your neck to look at him, anticipating his next move.

"Can I sleep here?"

You nod, shifting to the side to give him more space on the sofa. You didn't have the heart to turn him away, he looked like he needed some human company. You thought that when he said sleep, he meant sleeping by your side, _not on you._ You bite back a small yelp when you feel the heavy weight of his head on your thighs, your skin feeling ticklish due to his short hair bristling against them. You stare down at Younghyun with wide eyes, expecting him to get the hint and move. Yet, he remained unfazed, staring right into your wide eyes with his fox-like eyes. Next, in a voice that was as soft as the flowing wind, he asked, “Can you sing me to sleep?”

“Are you sure? I can’t sing.”

“It’s… It’s fine. Please just sing me to sleep.”

“Why…? Younghyun, really, I can’t sing. You don’t want me to sing.”

“Please. I just need to hear your voice.” Throughout the entire conversation, his earnest eyes never leave yours, practically begging you to do as he says. What happens next is exactly as you expected it to.

“Ok. Then just close your eyes and focus on my voice.” You hurry to add in the next line before you start.

“But just this once! Never again.”

“Ok. Just this once.” Younghyun flashes you a wry smile before the lights dim from his eyes, his eyelids slowly fluttering shut as you start.  You sing the first song on your mind – the one that reminded you of him.

_Look at the stars,_

_Look how they shine for you,_

_And everything you do,_

_Yea, they were all yellow._

With Kang Younghyun, time seems to hold no meaning anymore. You sing till you’re slightly hoarse, moving from song to song naturally without much pause between. As the last note leaves your mouth, you close your parched lips, the itchiness in your throat a reminder that you should get water – but – you didn’t have the heart to wake Younghyun up. Not when he was sleeping so peacefully. You didn’t get much moments like this with him – quiet, serene and tranquil. He looked so peaceful, and you wanted to memorise every bit of this moment; his features.

Carding your fingers through his hair softly, you rolled the tips of his hair slightly between your fingers, noting how it’s getting longer. It gave him a manlier look; the messy cut from before gave him a boyish, almost impish look. You let your eyes trace over his features slowly, noticing the way he no longer frowns in his sleep, the way his facial muscles no longer tense. You first notice the eyebags under his eyes. He’s probably tired from all the consecutive games played and lacking sleep, yet he still dedicates time to his studies. His crooked nose comes into view, and you lift a hand to your lips to muffle the sound of your laughter as you recall the time where he animated how he broke his nose as a child to you, the outcome of speeding with a bicycle and colliding into a tree. Eyes wandering further down, you spot the purple peeking from beneath his shirt, evidence of a bruise and his unwavering dedication to the game, never giving up even when he got injured. Lastly, your eyes land on his lips – and a thousand memories come flooding back. The same lips that argued with you were also the same lips that comforted you, the same lips that made you frustrated were also the same lips that made you smile. They were the very same lips that captured yours in a kiss, leaving you breathless from the different emotions felt. _Is this what loving someone feels like? Is this love?_

You shake your head in resignation at your own musing, not really having an answer to your own question but knowing one thing at least: Despite all the confusion and pain, you still care for Younghyun. A lot.

Craning your head down, you press a soft kiss to his forehead, hoping that the sincerity of the action will reach him when the words are hard to say. When you pull back, your breath catches in your throat because you’ve been caught in the act. You stare back at his open eyes like a deer caught in headlights – unable to move, not wanting to move. His eyes flick to your lips and you know what he’s thinking – and you know that you’re thinking the same thing too. _Fuck it. Since I’m already caught in the act, I might as well go all in._

“Kiss me.”

Younghyun doesn’t need to be told twice before he’s rising from your lap to push you against the banister behind you. He presses so close against you that your chests brush against one another with each inhale, his hands holding you in place to stop you moving. It’s irrational but he’s scared that you’ll run away, scared that you’ll slip through his fingers and disappear forever – because that was what it felt like for the past few weeks when he couldn’t have you close, it’s like you were gone from his life, and he _hated_ that feeling. Like a drowning man that finally got his first gasp of air, Younghyun takes in as much as he can – lips savouring every inch of your sweet lips, legs tangling with yours as his hands begin to roam around your body. The world narrows down to just you and him, and all you can register is him – the feeling of his body pressed against yours, the feel of his skin burning underneath your fingertips and his lips that nip, suck and bite your own.

The sound of the front door slamming shut has both of you jumping away from one another instantly, as if someone had scalded the both of you. You sneaked a peek over Younghyun’s shoulder and you spot Dowoon’s figure by the doorway, eyes fixated on both of you. Your entire body burns at the thought of him catching both of you in the act – you’re not sure how long he’s been standing there or how much he has seen but one thing is sure – he _definitely knows_ what went down. The messy clothes, ragged breathing and red lips? Yea, they’re unmistakable.

“Oh Dowoon-ah, you’re here.” Younghyun shifts further away from you to put distance between the both of you as he acknowledges the younger. Visibly awkward upon having walked upon such an _intimate_ scene, Dowoon lets out something between a grunt and a mumble of acknowledgement as he eyes shift left and right, not sure what to do in that situation. Even though Dowoon stands at a distance and refuses to meet your eyes, you can see his lips twist into a grimace and his eyebrows drawing towards the centre – he’s visibly uncomfortable at the sight; maybe slight annoyed but… why? Your thoughts are broken by Younghyun’s announcement that he’s going to use the washroom and he flashes past your periphery before he’s gone again. Once Younghyun is out of earshot, Dowoon marches over with a determined look on his face – you’ve never seen this facial expression before and it has fear lodging itself into your heart. It’s a mixture of mild regret, fear and determination – almost like he’s going to reveal an earth-shattering secret.

“Can I talk to you?”


End file.
